Drizzle in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • May 13, 2004, midnight
  • |
  • Public

Okay. Spring Fling. Seems a hundred years ago now. But yes, a fling nonetheless. And I’m still remembering the sweetness. Wishing I could still taste it.

But this week’s been rainy and gloomy…a downer. The rain won’t stop and it prompts sighs and frowns and shivers, even. I’m low again. The sugar’s worn off. I’m sad.

Sales meeting this week. Everyone in town to critique our latest lines. These last few days have been filled to the rim with meetings and dinners and comings and goings. Tuesday night had me letting off steam. I didn’t want to get drunk, but I had to. It was as if I had no choice. And it almost felt good to laugh again. Too bad it was fake. The relaxation was chemically induced. A group of us left the banquet to go to a little dive. I embarrassed myself again. And Jen refused to let me drive home. It was very, very nice of her to drive me home. But then it required a whole lot of relying on people to pick me up before work and then to take me back to the bar to get my car last night. I hate that. But better than a DUI, I suppose. I could barely even speak by the end of the night…let alone drive.

Boss had slacked off of the assholishness for a while. But now it’s back. I need to go to Montreal next Monday to give a presentation. Then back here. Then to NYC on Tuesday night to set up emergency meetings. Everything is on fire. Everything!! I’ve turned into a firewoman. But I don’t get to wear the cute hat…or even fondle the hose! I’ve been given the shaft. With none of the pleasure.

Yes, I’m desperate. Sue me.

One good thing has happened this week: the new owners of the building I live in now called me to talk about getting out of my lease early. They actually said no prob! Looks like I’ll be moving to the loft sometime soon! Just need to work the logistics out. I’m traveling pretty much the rest of this month, and I’ll be in NY for two weeks in June. Not sure when the fuck I’m going to find time to move. But…like all things, this too will get done somehow.

Tomorrow night is Renee’s birthday party. Paul and I have both now RSVP’d. I’m looking forward to the tension for some reason. I suppose I’ve grown to love discomfort, or maybe I’m just plain used to it. The other great thing is that I found out that Renee is dating several guys at one time, and Spring Fling’s friend is one of them. I’m hoping that everyone has caught wind of this party and they’re all gonna be there and it will be utter chaos! I think I’ll bring my camera.

And I’ve been invited to see Hot DJ (remember him?) spin on Saturday night at some new place. He sent out some mass e-mail and then sent me a personal follow-up. Not sure what the deal is there, but it sparked a small series of e-mails that have gotten the best of my curiosity.

Plus, I’m desperate, remember?

Well, I’m weary and I’m still at the office. I need to get a few more e-mails out before I can go home to crash only to get back up and get pelted again.

I love you sooooooooo much.

Sorry. I haven’t written that in a long, long time. I just wanted to see what it felt like.

I’ll be going now.


Last updated 5 days ago


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