Bloody hell. So fucking much going on in my life right now, and my internet connection at home is kaput! I really need to get this out of my system, but I’m city-hopping for the rest of the week and don’t really want to come back into the office after hours (like I’m sitting here doing NOW).
Put it this way: I might just like Ryan. I sorta have to figure it out. He really is adorable, sweet, gentle, kind, smart, all of that.
Meanwhile, the other one (can’t even remember what I named him in here) is pulling some crap that’s kind of freaking me out. Namely things that are supposed to be “cute” after you’ve been dating a while (like stopping by the office unannounced, dropping by the apartment, etc.), and I’m not sure what to think about all of it seeing as we haven’t really dated at all. Just messed around.
I’m overwhelmed right now and fear that I’m going to blow both situations all to hell. I don’t want to do that. I just want some time to figure out what’s right and what’s not and why I get weird vibes from both of them.
Or it could all just be me. I wonder why I haven’t had a real boyfriend in years….
Eek. Ran into the guy I shacked with a few weekends ago (can’t remember what I called him either) at this party on Sunday night. It was awkward as hell and I did everything I could to get away from him, even though I really liked him when we met and I still think he’s hot and very much datable. Why did I try to run away? What is wrong with me?
Okay. I need to get out of here and find my way back to the bar where I left my credit card over the weekend.
I’m completely brain dead.
This is what happens when boys whip through like thunderstorms. Sometimes they’re really cool and soothing. Sometimes they’re terrifying and very destructive.

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