Choppy in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • Sept. 20, 2004, midnight
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  • Public

I feel like I’ve lost time (since the hacker incident) and am having a hard time getting back into the swing of things here. This is going to be choppy.

Speaking of, I got my hair chopped. It’s still long, but I had a new stylist add long layers. I like it. I can wear it wavy or straight. Nice chunky layers.

I’m overwhelmingly smitten with Quentin at this point, and it’s making my heart start to ache. Why do I do this to myself? It’s not like he hasn’t warned me from the start. I know, know, know he likes me and is fighting it tooth and nail. I don’t necessarily blame him for not wanting to get mixed up with me.

I’ll be with LDL in three days, and he is so excited. I heard it in his voice when I called him on Saturday to wish him a happy birthday. I’m as ambivalent as I was the last time I went. Praying so hard that this doesn’t fuck me up.

I’ve been so out of touch with my job the past few weeks. Tomorrow is another meeting with the president. I have to get back into the swing of things. I think it might just be that I’ve spent so many days and nights in that office. And now, the assistant that I was promised is going to another area. I’m sort of resolved to the fact that I’m not going to get the help that I really need, then I’m only going to do as much as I can do as one person. I don’t like feeling that way…but the other way around was making me physically ill (chest pains, dizziness, strep throat, etc.).

I have a good, hard cry welling up and trying to seep out. It’s just not flowing the way I’d like it to. Fits and starts. I’m going to explode soon.

I’m praying for BJ, as many are. I hope she knows how much we are all thinking of her and her new family.


Last updated 5 days ago


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