I Am. in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I’ve been avoiding writing.

That said, I shall finally write an entry.

Ahem.

I am still in love. I spent the weekend before last with LDL. I knew I was going to have the greatest time. And I did. Every last moment was delicious…even the little argument we had in the Greek Theater before the Pixies show. It was thrilling, feeling those sparks again. I think I’ll record the events in another entry. This entry is just to recap how insane I’m making myself.

I am also deep in like. I wish the entries since June would come back. I really want to go back and read what I wrote about Quentin. I was on the brink of hating him at one point. Now I’m on the brink of…I don’t know what. I dig him. Muchly. He is the oddest, yet most special creature. I know there’s no future. At least I don’t think so anyway. Yet. Remember when he said he suspected everyone of being a time thief? I assumed he meant me. So why’s he calling me now? Why does he want to see me now? Why did he seem so bummed as we were saying goodnight Saturday night? Any why did he seem so down when he thought we wouldn’t see each other until next weekend? AND! Why did he tell me Sat. night that he described me to a friend as “someone I’m seeing”???

I have no interest. The Firefighter. I met him the other night when I was supposed to meet Q. I actually thought that Q. was standing me up! I’m so retarded. We had a little miscommunication. So while I waited for Q., I started talking to another guy at the bar. Nice looking. Very friendly. Firefighter. I took his number before Q. found me. I called Firefighter days later. He wanted to go on a date, and I faked interest. When I finally met Firefighter out, I confessed that I was really in “like” with Q., and FF was super nice about it. Said he still wanted to be friends. In fact, offered me a ride to the airport the next day. So, not only did he give me a ride to the airport as I was on my way to see LDL, he was waiting outside the gate when I flew back, too. He carried my luggage, AND…he had FOOD for me too!

Still, not interested in the least. Been avoiding his phone calls for a week now.

I’m curious. Julie, one of my old nabes is trying to set me up with an old boss of hers. So she invited me to this little after hours party that her company was hosting for their clients. I showed, he showed. I could tell he was interested, as I think I may be…but not sure. Not sure at all. Julie got us in touch via e-mail. We’ll see where this goes. He’s supposed to call me tonight. I feel like there are too many other things on my mind. But who am I to pass up a possibility?

I’m a sneak. Bribed a stagehand into sneaking me backstage at yet another sold-out Pixies show. All it took was a bottle of Jagermeister! Is that bad? Oh wait. I left out the part where I gave the guy my phone number. But no big deal. He was a big sweetheart and hung with me for most of the show with no strings attached. He did call me later to tell me that if there’s ever a show that I want to see at this particular venue to give him a call. Sweet, eh?

I’m a mess. Today started off pretty shitty. Considering I spent my whole Sunday in the office (from 9-3) yesterday to work on stuff for a presentation with the president that didn’t go well, it actually turned out fun. Even though I have a million things to do, the company is having an anniversary of sorts, and this afternoon we had games. Like recess-type games. Tug O’ War and a water balloon fight that ended up as a water balloon free-for-all. Nothing like hitting the president with a million water balloons after he gives you all kinds of shit in the morning, eh? Talk about a release of pent up aggression! I’m finally drying off, but I look much like a drowned, overworked hamster….back on the wheel for me.

I’m blobby. Haven’t been hitting the gym like I should in a long, long while. It shows.

I’m out.