Thats the one thing I can say for sure about Q. No matter how much of a great time we have when were together, a major disappointment will soon follow. Hell either say something unbelievably assholeish or hell simply not call after weve made plans to do something together.
Take this afternoon, for example. Last night he was all gung-ho about hanging out with me today. And yet, 5:00 rolled around and still no phone call. When I called him to see how he was doing, he didnt even mention seeing each other. It was as if hed either forgotten or was hoping that I had.
He told me that he was finishing up a piece and that hed promised to get it in by 7:00 tonight. Okay fine. I get that . Youre a writer and you have deadlines. But does that give you license to pretend that we never made pseudo plans to see each other? Does that give you the right to renege? Help me out here.
I know this is all so boring and tiresome, but I have to keep reminding myself that this is NOT going to work out. No way, no how. Its just not. And he will continue to toy with my feelings for as long as I let him.
What is my deal? Every single guy I pick is so, so wrong for me.
Want another example? Okay. Wednesday in New York. Id made plans to hang out with that creative director guy from Chicago that Id met at LaGuardia airport last time. [Aside: dont know if Ive written about him before. Long story short, I met this guy at Figs bar in the airport last time I was in NY, and we discovered that we had some of the same business contacts. He came to my city for a meeting a couple weeks ago, and we shared a quick drink afterwards, at which time we both realized that we were attracted to each other.] So after we discovered that we were both going to be in the city at the same time last week, we decided to meet at the Royalton on Wednesday. Drank quite a bit of champagne in the groovy little champagne pod that they have I guess its one of CD Guys favorite spots.
We were having the greatest time. CD Guy is hilarious. Super creative, wacky sense of humor, quirky looks that I dig so much he has everything that makes my heart flutter. So were laughing and making all kinds of plans to hang out both that night and in the future (because he comes to my city a lot, and were both in NYC a lot, etc.). And then all of a sudden, he takes both of my hands into his hands and looks me directly in the eyes and tells me that he needs to tell me something.
Im separated.
At this point, Im tipsy enough to just be like yeah? Well? Do you want to get divorced?
And nothing! He couldnt give me an answer. He just kind of sat there with big, sad blue eyes.
Yet he could still manage to lay a gigantic kiss on me in the cab. And I guess I was so confused by what was going on, and yet so turned on that I kissed him back. He wants to see me some more. And Im an idiot to be somewhat attracted to him.
I have to break this cycle.
Why arent there any funny, creative, gorgeous, yet available (emotionally, and legally!) men out there? WHY?
Im so angry. I feel like Im being played from all angles. Will this ever, ever end? What will it take? How can I possibly let this happen to me time and time and time again?
Man. I am really angry about this. Im actually crying right now. This is so stupid, but damn, does it hurt. Ouch. Stop it.
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