Tsunami:I havent yet heard back from my friend in Sri Lanka. He did write back once to tell me that hes working on the website thing, etc but no news since then. Im going to send him another note and make sure hes okay. I was happy to hear that my company is matching donations on top of a decent lump sum, and Ive already given to the Red Cross. I hope relief is coming fast enough. I know its hard to get in there, but its still such a helpless feeling. What more can be done?
Weather: I made it to work today. Hooray. Pffftt. Im taking a little break right now, but I need to finish up a whole bunch of stuff to get ready for tomorrow. Ive got a million meetings and then Ill be in NYC all next week. Let Stressfest 2005 begin! Oops. I just turned this weather update into a work update. Okay, to make up for it, heres the view from one of the big leaking windows in my loft this morning:
It was fun scraping another thick-ass layer of ice off my car this morning. There was about an inch of ice frozen to my tires, too! And even though the roads were clear for the most part, I still slid around like a freak. I had to get gas during my lunch break today so that the gasline wouldnt freeze. Lovely. Dont you just love winter?
The Loft Purchase: Mr. Attorney called me today letting me know that his firm was already representing the owners of the building, so that any dealings with his firm would be a conflict of interest. He then recommended someone else at some high falutin big-ass firm, and I dont know if I want to pay a gigantic retainer. This sucks. Why is buying a home so scary to me?
And regarding the coldness of the place: Yes, the building is 115 years old. It has some aches and pains, but I adore it and it should be an amazing investment in the long runconsidering the location, what the city plans to do there, etc. Im trying to negotiate the fixing of the windows and the weatherproofing of the place in with my purchase price. Im not exactly sure how to do that does an agent do that for me? Does a lawyer? I dont know! Im kind of freaking and doing a lot of running in place at this point.
My Fat Ass: Today was weigh-in, and Ive lost a couple pounds. Finally! Id love to lose eight more before Sundance (uh, right in two weeks). Why do I struggle so? Why cant I just stick to one lifestyle? Why do I vacillate wildly from strictly healthy girl to highly gluttonous girl? Will there ever be a happy medium with me? I doubt it. I like eating and getting drunk and smoking too much. But I also like being thin. So .until something changes drastically, I will forever be struggling with this.
Love Life: This is the last section of the updates for a reason. My love life stinks. Im not sure what to do about it. I dont even know if I care. Im not desperate for dates, I think Ive just lost interest. Its not that I dont want dates and sex and all that, its just that I dont want to have that with just anyone. Im tired of fooling around. Really tired. After thinking that I could just play around with Stolen Date guy for as long as I want and then witnessing him pissing the floor, and all those empty, empty New Years Eve kisses, I dont know. Im just so tired of playing. I dont want to play anymore. Im terrified of getting serious about this, and I think thats why I tease and I play. But I think (hope) that 2005 will be a year of big change for me. Either I will finally get serious about something or someone, or I will get a little more comfortable with the thought of singledom and start enjoying it more and stop yearning so much.
I think thats it for now.

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