For Reals? in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I took the damn thing three times, just to make sure:

eXpressive: 8/10

Practical: 5/10

Physical: 3/10

Giver: 6/10

You are a XPIG–Expressive Practical Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Catch.

You are a magazine-cover, matinee idol dreamboat. Parents love you and want to set you up with their kids. However, first dates are tough because it takes time for your qualities to come out.

You are generous and kind. You think first and act later. You are cool in a conflict, but your practical side means if your partner throws out emotional appeals (“why can’t we do what I want for a change?”) they will grate on your nerves, even when the conflict is resolved.

You’re a romantic. You enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and you don’t just fall into bed with anyone. You pay close attention to your significant other’s needs, and this makes you an excellent lover and partner. The problem is that your friends and lovers may find it so easy to express things to *you* that they lose sight of whether you feel as comfortable with *them*! This doesn’t necessarily make you feel under-appreciated — you’re too well-adjusted and self-aware for that — but you may feel restless. Thus you seek adventure in your life outside the relationship to prove and actualize yourself.

Of all the types, you would make the best parent.

You are coiffed.

Didja see “Big Fish”? ‘Cause you’re like Ewan MacGregor in “Big Fish.”

Of the 229494 people who have taken this quiz, 9.3 % are this type.

The holiday weekend has been quite so/so. I haven’t done a whole lot. Or really, I’ve done a lot—just haven’t accomplished a lot, and it makes me crazy.

Was supposed to spend the weekend at Tina’s lake house with Jen for a relaxing girls’ loungeabout, but because the car situation was so fucked up (more crap that just makes for an even longer, duller entry. Bluh), I was unable to go. And I’ll be honest here. I’m kinda glad I wasn’t “able” to go. Tina had asked me to go with her several weeks ago, and when Jen and I started discussing Memorial Day weekend plans, I sort of told her about Tina’s invitation without really inviting her (because I wasn’t all that jazzed about it in the first place). Point being, I don’t enjoy lounging in the sun. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE hanging with the girls; I’m just not a sun-worshiping, poolside-hanging kind of girl. Maybe for one afternoon…but not all weekend long. I felt guilty, but not really all that shitty. And Tina and Jen have called to tell me that they wish I were there, but that they are having a really nice time. Good. Everyone wins, right? I just wish I weren’t so achingly lonely this long holiday weekend.

I did end up going to a barbeque at Paul’s place last night. Paul is the brother of Jonathan, this guy who lives in the building next to mine. I don’t think I’ve written about Jon before because though he’s an okay guy and all, he just bugs me with the calling a lot and the wanting to ‘hang’. I know, that sounds so stupid when I just wrote in the paragraph above that I’m achingly lonely. But I sense a certain amount of clinginess in Jon, and that type of personality tends to wear thin, exhaust me, and actually bring me down. Right, right. All about me. But seriously, I’ve had relationships like that before. The chemistry gets wacky.

So, the barbeque was actually decent for the most part. The weather was spectacular and the grub was delicious and the sangria was divine. I relaxed a bit, enjoyed some tunes (some DJ mix that Paul made), and played with the three funny pugs that belong to Paul’s next door neighbor through the chain link fence. But Paul and Jon have this weird brotherly dialogue that’s a combination of tense jokes and put-downs and though a lot of it can be hilarious if you’re watching from the sidelines, I felt like Jon was trying to get me to take sides, and I got a little uncomfortable with the whole scenario, so I split after a reasonable amount of time (3 hours is reasonable for a backyard barbeque, right?).

My weekend loneliness was quelled ever so slightly by much retail therapy. I went to Target for the usual crap, but also to try and find those infamous tantowels that Tinkle raves about, and I couldn’t find them. Bummage. So I bought a whole bunch of other crap, including a bunch of great wooden bracelets and such. Why does Target have to be so awesome? I’d already purchased a bunch of other wooden accessories at Nordstrom the day before. I guess now I’m all stocked up on wooden jewelry. You’d think I’d stop, right? Well not exactly. I went to Forever 21 today and found MORE WOODEN CRAP!!! Anybody wanna borrow some painted wooden bangles or earrings with wooden beads? How about a wood chip necklace? No?

Of course, I didn’t stop at the wooden shit, I bought a bunch of other needless apparel as well. I tried to keep it to items that I’m going to be wearing for presentations next week in New York, but ended up buying several cute tank- and wrap-type tops as well. Nice for dates….if I could ever get any. Not so great for big-wig presentations. Picture me walking into the room in a strapless wrap-tie bustier type getup and a bunch of wooden accessories. Sure.

So to balance things out, I did buy the greatest black skirt with the frothiest petticoat underneath! It’s so fabulous!! And then of course, I had to get the strappy heels to go with. Top it with a crisp cotton fitted dress shirt, and voila! Presentation perfection!

So yeah, several hours and many hundreds of dollars later…I don’t know if I feel better, but my closet is bulging. Even after I finally did the winter/spring closet swap this evening.

Now I’m doing laundry. There are currently 24 pairs of panties hanging to dry on the rack in the hallway. Does that say anything about how often I do laundry? I’m going commando at the moment.

Speaking of which, in honor of Memorial Day, I actually did something memorious (?). I went to a war memorial yesterday. The thought just struck me like a strange urge, and I’d gone out there once with Q, but when we went, the museum part was closed and the observation deck was too, so I figured that everything had to be open this weekend, right? And it was.

The weather was perfect, but I’d worn the wrong shoes for climbing a lot of steps and then walking around on a grassy knoll-type area (really high wedges on really bumpy terrain), so I went to the museum part and that’s when I just got even more depressed and down. Nothing like reading about death, destruction, and the ripping apart of nations, eh? I know that the purpose of having this long weekend is to remember those who have fought and paid the ultimate price, but ugh. I don’t know if I’ve ever REALLY thought about it that deeply.

And then I saw this elderly woman accidentally fall down on some of the steps. Several people crowded around, and I could just feel her pain. I think she hurt herself pretty badly because an ambulance was eventually called and they took her away on a stretcher. I felt the strongest urge to cry right then. I could feel it welling up inside.

And then last night I finished reading The Kite Runner at about 2am, and I just sat in my bed and the tears freely rolled down my cheeks.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good cry, but that one wasn’t all that great. I’m not done. I don’t feel cleansed yet. I predict a flood sometime in the near future.

Damn. The dryer just buzzed. Gotta go tend to the chores.