Rank. in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I tried so hard not to wake on the wrong side of the bed today. Really. I even went back to sleep for a while, only waking to the sound of my phone ringing and realizing that I’d left myself with only 15 minutes to get ready for work. Do you know what a woman looks like when she only has 15 minutes to get ready for anything, let alone the office? The only good thing I have to say is that my shorter hair is much easier to do now (really, not much to it…a brush-through and a swoosh of the straightener and that’s about it). But let’s not delve too much deeper. Sure I was quick, thanks to a handy little grooming method called a whore’s bath and a swipe of deoderant. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

So here I am in the office, buried in paper, sketches, and numbers, and surrounded by people who are basically spazzing about the state of the business. Don’t get me wrong, I’m upset about it too. But I’m finally at that phase where I know I’m close to the end. At least the beginning of the end. Not sure how it’s going to end, but it’s going to end at some point (hopefully pretty soon). Do you remember Operation Outta There? I think it’s time for OOT, Phase II. And yes, OOT took a while to execute, but in the end I was successful. And here’s another thing: I knew this gig wasn’t going to last forever. In fact, I’m surprised that I’ve almost been here for three whole years!! That’s pretty amazing considering this was going to be the place that would open the doors to bigger and better opportunities. Well. Nobody’s beating down my door, that’s for sure. The pay’s been nice and the travel’s been spectacular. But the experience has been …eh.

While I was trying to find that entry I referenced above, I had to skim through some of my earlier entries from 2001 and 2002. Wow. I’d forgotten how much fun I used to have!! I swear, I thought my dating and social life sucked back then. But look at me now. Ugh. I am a loser. I miss living in a larger city where I can remain mostly anonymous. It’s fun. Now, the only time I can ever feel that way is when I’m traveling. Here, I keep running into the same people here over and over…people like Stalker Scott and Secret Agent Guy. Are these the only two available men in this town (no offense to my good friend, [P])?! These guys I’ve seen naked…one of them having the smallest wiener I’ve ever seen, the other a total psycho? It’s time to go. Seriously.

Ugh. It’s now well after 5:30, and I’ve still got things to do, but this entry is breaking up some of the monotony of the day, so I’m going with it. You will not believe how many people have told me that I look great today…the hair, the clothes, the works! Good thing nobody got too close to me and took a big whiff!! I even did a quickie round of pilates during lunch—in the exact same clothes that I’m wearing now! It’s almost like I’m playing a game of How Disgusting Can I Get in One Day? Hah! I’m gross. The joke’s on all of you!!

I got the greatest email from Agent Aussie the other day. In it, he tells me how meeting me was the highlight of his most recent trip and that he really wants me to come visit him in October. I answered back quickly to make sure that he was serious and to let him know that I’m pretty determined to make the trip. I’ve even priced out the airline ticket and everything. And now I haven’t heard back in a few days, and I’m worried. So I sent him another email asking him if everything was okay with him…especially now that there are terrorist threats on both Los Angeles AND Melbourne. I’m guessing it’s just that he’s extremely busy now. Or that I’m a fool once again. Time will tell, and I’m only gonna give it a few more days and then I’m going to make plans for something else. Regardless, I WILL be taking at least a week of vacation (perhaps I’ll be jobless by then anyway) and it WILL be someplace impressive (perhaps only to me, but pffftt on you anyway).

Did I tell you that I’ve been getting emails regarding my 20th High School Reunion?! I’ve also been in touch with one of my very best friends from HS too. We’d lost touch when her emails from the radio station where she worked started bouncing back. I couldn’t find her after that. So she must’ve seen me on the Classmates.com list because she sent me an email through them. She still lives in the little town where we went to high school, and keeps in touch with nearly everyone (most people stayed, bless their souls). And OH! The juicy, juicy gossip she’s been flinging my way!! Priceless! I cannot WAIT to go to my reunion!! But of course, that means I must be in the finest shape EVER. Seriously. I now have like quadruple the motivating reasons to get my flabby ass back into tip-top performance.

Okay. On that note, enough fucking around here in the office. I think I’m going to see just how much stinkier I can get before I can’t stand myself anymore. So it’s off to the gas station to fill ‘er up and buy some smokes and then to the pub where I’m going to drink maybe two glasses of wine. And then home to do a million sit-ups and leg lifts. And then…the most lovely shower and hair-washing I’ve probably ever had!