100 Things (1-10): in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I’m stealing this format from smiling jack chance. I’m breaking it down into even smaller bite-sized chunks because…well, I just want to. If you’re lucky (and patient), I’ll come back from time to time and add to this list.

1. I was so painfully shy as a child that I got bad grades in “speaking up” in kindergarten.

2. I’ve tried to more than make up for it, and I think I do a semi-decent job when it comes to superficial banter, but I still have trouble asking for what I really want.

3. Though I have bouts of severe loneliness, I love my alone time and think I’d do very well in a commuter marriage or in some kind of relationship that involves travel on both parts—or really, I think what would be ideal is to keep my job that involves lots of travel and have someone at home who I can miss and who misses me and would be there. What a perfect scenario!

4. At 38, I don’t think I’ve hit my sexual peak yet.

5. I have such a hard time saying goodbye that I think it’s easier to just sneak off and disappear (this is in regards to things like parties and other social events, but now that I think about it, I’ve ditched friendships like this too). I realize that this is cowardly. I want to work on this.

6. One night in college, I went to see a band that my suitemate and I loved dearly. We got really drunk and headed to the very front of the crowd and sang along to every single song. I had to pee so badly, but didn’t want to lose my spot in the crowd, so when I couldn’t stand the pain any longer, I peed right there (I was wearing a skirt and let the pee just dribble down my leg).

7. I blacked out that night. There’s a lot more to the story, but I’m not ready to write it all down yet. I don’t know if I ever will be.

8. I have a tendency to be messy and let things pile up and become unbearable before I do anything about it. This is why I hire cleaning services. I’m forced to be neat and not let things sit in giant piles so that they can actually clean surfaces instead of around piles.

9. I read my horoscopes religiously, but never heed any warnings.

10. I thrive on attention. I know this because I had a chemistry TA in college keep me after class to tell me this. The rest of the semester, I showered him with inquisitive looks and faux-studious questions. I got lots of attention. And an A.