At the rate I’m going, this will take forever…
11. I still feel the presence of my grandmother on my moms side. I dont know why. We werent particularly close when she was alive, but we did have our moments (mostly, she intimidated the hell out of me). But I think I can feel her with me from time to time. Perhaps it has something to do with how independent she always was married later in life (in those times) and had her shit totally together. Shes an inspiration in many ways, and in a way I feel like Im following in her footsteps.
12. I tend to get hangovers that are so severe that I have heart palpitations (today is a perfect example). I googled my symptoms this morning, and its a glaring sign of alcoholism AND says google, very dangerous. Damn.
13. I love my freckles.
14. Regardless of the state of the union, I get chills every time I hear/sing The Star-Spangled Banner
15. I still carry a torch for Sam, my college boyfriend. We lived in sin and I just assumed that wed get married. We all know what happens when we assume. He assumed his way right into the arms of a French au pair during his semester abroad. They married, had babies, and (I assume) lived happily ever after.
16. Come to think of it, I still carry a torch for Ray, my very first boyfriend ever. He was a BMX racer, and gave me the trophy he won the first time I went to watch him race. I still have the damn thing! Okay, maybe its not a so much a torch I carry for him. Im obviously an emotional packrat.
17. Last night I drank champagne with a friend of mine. A married friend who was in town on business. I didnt even know he was married until he confessed that he was going through a separation several months ago. Long story short, I drank too much champagne (hence #12) and wasnt able to drive home. I got as far as his hotel and could go no further. I slept in the other bed. He tried, oh yes he did. But I just dont think I could ever be with a married man. No matter how terrible their relationship is. My revelation: leaving a hotel room at 5:30 in the morning so that you can drive your half-drunk ass home and get ready for work still feels like the walk of shameeven if nothing happened at all.
18. I watched Where in the World is Matt Lauer all week, and now I want to go to every single one of the places he went, especially Shanghai.
19. I rarely pull the shades when I undress in front of windows.
20. I am so going to get fired if I dont stop fucking around here at work. Sure, Ive all but given up, but I cant let them know it yet.
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