Smoke-Free Zone in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • March 2, 2006, midnight
  • |
  • Public

Happy Thursday.

I gave up smokes for Lent—after I smoked about ¾ of a borrowed pack on Fat Tuesday in front of AtH while he watched me, horrified. And then he drove me home because I was too drunk to hold a normal conversation. Brilliant way to win over the neighbor you’re in love with, eh?

Perhaps I’m subconsciously sabotaging. I [think I] desperately want him to like me. But I’m terrified of what the consequences might be if he does eventually. So hmmm. Acting like a moron is going to help the situation?

I hung with him on Monday night. He had his best friends over, and I felt honored that he wanted to introduce me to them. Actually had a fantastic time drinking wine and telling stories and laughing. Friends seemed to like me (I hope, anyway), I don’t think I overstayed my welcome, and as he was walking me to the door to say goodbye, the guy I met in the elevator was calling. Elevator Guy has such an unusual name, that I mentioned it to AtH, and I detected just the teeniest, tiniest bit of barely-there jealousy from AtH. I didn’t do it on purpose (the game playing thing), but it kinda worked to my advantage.

But then I got to thinking:

  • What if he does want to date me? Could it possibly work out?
  • I would be Rebound Girl. Could be one of many. Do I want that?
  • What would happen when NYG comes to visit for a long-distance booty call?
  • How would I react if I saw him bringing another date home? How would he react if he saw me with someone else?
  • If it happens and then fizzles, could I handle living across the hall from him?

    Good thing I have more time to think about this. Long plane rides make me think. And think. And think. Long trips also make it hard to nurture budding friendships. So frustrating…all of this.

    I have to force myself to let it go. There’s too much energy wasted in worrying.

    Parking Lot Guy [PLoG?] sent me a really nice e-mail today. He’s the one who saw me on my good hair day. I don’t know…very sweet of him, but kind of boring introduction. It sucks that I’m so interested in my neighbor. Still, I’m going to write the guy back, because…what the hell, right? It’s going to be funny when we see each other again. He’ll probably blow me off when he sees I’m not having a perfect hair day.

    Work’s work. Getting ready for my first international trip with the new gang. Leaving on Saturday for Amsterdam. I think it’ll be fine. We had a great trip to SoCal last week, so unless someone wigs out, it should be a great experience for all of us. I’m still a little freaked out by the fact that I don’t have a boss right now, and I’m holding my breath a bit waiting to see who they bring in. But again, unnecessary worry = unnecessary time wasted. Why even bother?

    The bigger question is: where’s my passport?!

    Gotta run for now. Duty beckons.


  • Last updated February 15, 2026


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