I dont know what it is. Could it be because Ive been grounded (not traveling) for the past couple of weeks that Im letting a depression start in? I seriously think that the travel, though lonely a lot of the time, keeps the blues from really getting me where it hurts.
So there I was in my car, top down, beautiful sunshine, on the way home from work tonight. Music cranked. And all of a suddenBLAMMO! Tears. Not big sobs, but a little whimper and some wetness in the eyes.
Alright, alright. Not just any music cranked in my car, but the Garden State Soundtrack. And not just any song from the soundtrack, but Colin Hays I Just Dont Think Ill Ever Get Over You. Good one, Ginger.
Id forgotten my sunglasses too. And that made for a bad ride anyway because I had my squint face on. As bad as squint face is, it is worsened by crying. And wouldnt you know it, a cute guy drove up beside me in the fast lane and slowed down to get a glimpse of said crying squint face. Needless to say, he sped on.
Ugh. I cried a little more when I finally got home. But I think Im over it for now as Im about 3/4ths of the way through the last bottle of cheap Champagne that was chilling in my fridge over the last couple of weeks. Now whos rocking out?
Yes, today was Administrative Professionals Day.
And yes, I made mine cry last week. It seems to be the thing to do around here lately. But I was describing the scenario to my parents last night over dinner, and my mom asked a few probing questions, and it was determined quite quickly that my admin is completely menopausal and highly susceptible to hormone-induced outbursts.
Its kind of sad and kind of scary at the same time. Heres a woman in her mid-50s, former fashion model, former art director for a large advertising firm, former Big Boss. Never married. Never had kids. Always did the career thing, but didnt keep up with technology so she cant create digital art, cant manage a team any more, etc.
Shes now an extremely moody, angry, frustrated, lonely woman going through this change. And it seems like she only talks to humans during office hours because all she wants to do is talk, and talk around and around and around in circles. And when I try to lead her in the direction of getting to the point, she gets angry and storms off.
God, please, please, PLEASE dont let me turn into her in 20 years. Please. Because I seriously see a bit of me in her, and it scares me to death.
Anyway, today I made her happy because I brought her the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers:
And a box of designer chocolates, which she devoured in 10.2 seconds. I mean, literally unhinged her jaw and threw them in.
Yes, all smiles until I asked her to do something for me that she didnt know exactly how to do. And I was on a pretty tight timeframe. Then the frustration and anger set in again.
Until she got more chocolate.
Sheesh. Hormones, anyone? Im frightened.
Dont get me wrong, I really do like the woman. Shes passionate about her job. And when shes not busy making excuses for not doing something, shes actually extremely talentedand very good at what she does. But theres something about her and her situation that resonates with me and terrifies me at the same time.
So I decided to stay in tonight and drink wine and write an entry and go to bed early. Another giant project to complete and execute tomorrow. Then, Im guessing Boss Party Pants will want to drink some more with me afterwards (Im hoping well be done within the Happy Hour timeframe, maybe 7ish).
Im ready for these special side projects to end. I cant wait to go to NYC next week…thats part of my real job. Wow. Has it really been since January? How time flies.
And since AtH is MIA, Im thinking about taking NYG up on his offer for sexual healing while Im there.
Come on! Im lonely. Im horny. Im emotional. Im so missing human contact. Why not? We both know what were doing (and more importantly, what were NOT doing).
I seriously cant wait.
God, this Champagne is killing me. Am I turning into my admin? Already??!!
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