Topic #3: Phone Phunctions in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I’ll start with a side note—the solution to yesterday’s missing underwear dilemma (two entries earlier): Lucky Magazine has a coupon in it’s August edition for a free pair of panties at Victoria’s Secret! I didn’t know this until after I’d run out for lunch or I would have gone then, but you know I ran straight there after work. Really, the panty thing was no big deal…just distracting at times (like when I’d go to the bathroom and automatically try to pull something down that wasn’t there!), and I didn’t feel like going out and buying new lingerie—especially since I’d just bought five new pairs of panties and three bras on Sunday! So the Vickie thing just seemed like a timely little gift from the panty fairy!! Aren’t I lucky?

Now. On with today’s topic!

Is it me, or have phones become more of a lifestyle than simply a form of communication? I now have so many relationships that seem to function mostly via phone (be it actual phone conversations, text, or even internet stuff). Though I have a lot of phone connections, here’s the lowdown on the…

Current Top Phone Phive:

The Dude: This is the on-again/off-again guy who’s remained in my life for well over ten years now. He’s seen me through a couple of boyfriends, and I’ve talked him through [some of] his women and lovers. I can’t say we’ve ever been boyfriend/girlfriend, but I can say that we’ve had a couple of very intense affairs. I’m not exactly sure what the motivating factor is that keeps us in contact, but over the years we’ve transitioned from hanging out with the guys on Dollar Beer Night to hanging out at my place to fancy dinners and dates to dirty morning sex to emailing…and now text messaging. Up and down, around and about. But true to the ebb and flow of our relationship, even our texting has gotten intense and dirty. And at times I think it’s funny and I’m flirty and tease-y. And at other times, I’m so horrified and disgusted. I’m not sure what to do about it.

First the sweet/dirty messages, then the wee-wee shots from the cameraphone, then the “DON’T IGNORE ME” texts, then the middle-of-the-night texts, then the middle-of-the-meeting texts…all sassy and dirty and making me crazy. I would be lying if I said that (a) I hate them and (b) they don’t turn me on…cause I don’t, and they do. But if I were to be 100% honest, I’d tell him that I don’t want to fuck him anymore. I just want to tease him.

It’s not right. None of it.

I sent him a picture of my cleavage in my new push-up bra under my leopard print wrap dress on Monday. And you know I played up the not-wearing-panties to the hilt with him yesterday (text only)! And then of course, he got mad at me for not putting my money where my mouth/crotch is and sending him a pic!

Such a trampy tease! I’m ashamed. He pouted. Finally I suggested we not do this anymore. It’s gotten out of control.

OM (Organic Man): Okay, okay. This is the one I was telling you about in my last entry. I’m jinxing, I know. But I have to say that he’s now in my Top 5 because, well, we’ve started this cute little text thing. And I also know that cute can get old, so I’m trying to watch it and I’m also hoping that he’s gonna step up to the plate so I can physically see him again. Remember, it’s supposed to be ORGANIC! Anyway. The guy is super sharp and witty. And funny is my downfall. I am smitten. So the good thing about starting out a little text-heavy is that you can wait two, three, four or more beats before coming back with a snappy response! And snappy come-backs have always been a challenge for me. So I’m having fun with this! For now… More on OM in future entries (I hope).

Tracy: A NEW girlfriend!! Ohh…I just love new girlfriends! She’s actually the GF of a guy who works for my friend Matt. We spent all day on Saturday shopping together, which got to be a little torturous for me because that’s a big part of my work, but Tracy was happy, and she’s sweet, and we had a really fun lunch too. Plus, she endured my ramblings about hanging with OM on Friday night, so I think 6 hours of shopping with her was a fair trade off. Anyway. We’re now having a little text-a-thon ourselves…just about gossipy stuff. It breaks up the day. And quite honestly it’s a relief to take some of the attention away from Dirty Dude.

NYG (New York Guy): This one is weird. Remember NYG? Yeah, we decided not to see each other a while back when my booty calls were getting out of hand and downright depressing. Plus, he blew me off one night, so I was holding a grudge. Well. He got a new phone. Apparently one that has me on some kind of easy access speed dial. And he accidentally calls my number. A lot. So lately when the phone accidentally calls me (I don’t answer), I also get voice mails. From bars. Where he’s talking to girls. And I can’t make out what they’re saying exactly, but I can hear music and laughter and talking. I finally sent him a text asking him about the phone calls, and he apologized and told me that he’s been accidentally calling people when he puts the phone in his pocket. He told me that it wouldn’t happen again…but it has. I don’t mind, and I told him that…because I’m always so curious to hear those VMs. I must have some kind of voyeurism trigger in me. I listen to the whole thing every time. Even the ones that go on for about 5 minutes. I’m dying to hear what he’s saying to other girls…does he use the same lines?

Tie—Horoscope/Fashion Reports: Because I’m such a fan of The Text, I’ve also signed up to get my horoscopes sent daily as well as a couple of daily scoops from Daily Candy and other sources like the NYT, etc.

I admit it…I’m addicted to my phone. There was a time when I refused to get a cell phone because I thought they were so obnoxious. Now my phone is SUCH an important part of my life. It’s funny too, because when I travel overseas, I don’t get one of the chips and I don’t use international service, and I go a little insane. I guess it’s good to get those breaks every now and then, but it also makes me realize how dependent I am on that little piece of technology. I wonder how long I could possibly go without my phone before I would spontaneously combust? I just wonder…