My life has been turned upside down. Hes all but moved in. Im not as freaked out about it as I am happy. Excited. Okaythrilled! I will say here what I refuse to say out loud: I am in love. Crazy love. Really. That shaky, precarious kind of love that feels like I could wake up from this dream any second and be devastated. That scary kind of love. That weird kind of love. This happened so quickly. This happened so furiously. My head is reeling. Im not thinking clearly! And I love it!
Yes, I know how this sounds.
Wasnt it just a few entries ago? I was crying about not having anyone to miss when Im gone, not having someone to share funny stories with, not having any semblance of a love life? Wow it sure is amazing how these things smack you on the head sometimes. I should be cautiously optimistic and possibly even leery, but dammit. I dont want to be. I want to enjoy this. I want to bask in it. I know this cant go on forever (this crazy, crazy beginning phase), so Im going to soak it in and breathe it as long as I can.
And of course, this is the honeymoon (and I really hope there is more after this phase), but I want to get this stuff down while its all so innocent and fresh the good stuff the squishy stuff the dreamy stuff. He has so many qualities of a good boyfriend, and more importantly, a good friend.
He likes doing stuff with me. Just STUFF. Anything. But never nothing. And I love that. Be it going for a bike ride (he likes my trail AND we found another one close to his placethough we never go to his place anymore!), going out of town (like were doing this weekend), hanging out at the loft open house parties (like we did last night), or simply going shopping (holy shit, does he know his fashion!).
He does stuff for me. Hes fixed the shit that I messed up in the bathroom while trying to hang shelving. He cooks dinner a lot. He moves furniture. He CLEANS! I dont know if I can even handle this!! This cant go on like this forever, can it? If so, I want to KEEP HIM!!
Of course, hes not perfect. And there are still lots of questions. And he has a history of recent quickie relationships. So yes, there are those little niggling thoughts in the back of my brain that I keep trying to push to the side. But so far, hes been really reassuring and sweet and gentle with me. So Im going to let him keep it up. A girl needs a little pampering every now and then.
Next episode: explosive sex!
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