Still in love. Still head over heels in it. Deep, deep in it.
I am learning more each day, and seriously growing fonder. Not to say everythings perfect, but Ive never experienced anything quite like this before. And it still feels so fragile like it could slip through my fingers at any moment. And it ties my stomach in knots. It makes me giddy and it makes me want to cry all at once. Im gone. This is serious.
We are talking about the future: discussions of taking a cruise together at Christmastime; weve booked a trip to the Great Midwest at the end of September for Jens wedding; another wedding coming up in October (whats up with that?); Thanksgiving at my place, etc. etc
I dont yet feel like writing about the explosive sex like I said I was going to in the last entry. I almost feel like I want to keep that part to myselfcompletely on the insidenot share it with anyone. Because, I know this is sappy, but it is mine. A gift. Like a sacred secret thats not yet ready to be spilled on the pages of this tainted diary. I almost feel like a different person than the person I was two months ago.
Almost.
God this is weird. I go and get a boyfriend. But the texts keep coming, and I dont quite know what to do with them: the flings. They are exponentially more ravenous now that they know Im seeing someone. What is it about a challenge? I guess it keeps us all on our toes.
Ive had dirty messages come through, and I flirt with disaster when I semi-flirt right back. I tell them no .Im seeing someone. Ive no idea how he hasnt seen one or two come buzzing through the dark nights.
And in person? Men look more. They leer. They ask me out.
And I get a little thrill when Im able to say I have a boyfriend.
I dont want this to end. I want this feeling forever. I know its fleeting, and I know its naïve, but my oh my oh my I LOVE it.
I LOVE.
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