Greetings from McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas. Did you know they have free wireless connection here? Nice.
Im on a business trip, in case you havent figured. Only one day in Vegas, and now Im moving on to Los Angeles. Tired. But happy to have this time alone to write an entry. It seems I dont have the time anymore now that Grrr (new name for the new man)* has practically moved in and things at work have gotten busy again.
Im just barely coming down from the initial relationship buzz. Well, maybe not so much coming down as just kind of clumsily, drunkenly (and well get to that in a minute..) stumbling around. For as many questions as I have about Grrrs past/current situation, Im sure he has a million more for me. We must be working through that power struggle to see where we will stand in this whole thing. Im not used to this. Its been about eight years since Ive done the power struggle, and back then I wasnt any good at it. Today, I dont know if Im any better. If you were observing from the outside, I think youd probably judge in favor of him. No, I know you would. Read on:
Example #1: For as busy as I am, I am always available to him. Especially with text messages. We generally text throughout the day, and I seem to check my phone at the same time hes texting me. Weird its like were thinking about each other at the exact moment. But Im so quick to answer him back. Even while on business trips. And I engage him. Im not a challenge at all. That will probably change in a couple of weeks when Im on the other side of the world, but for now, Ive been Easy (with a capital E).
Example #2: I cant handle my liquor anymore, and Ive done foolish, drunken things in front of him that have made him see me in a new light. I pick stupid fights just to see what will give him a rise. I let guys flirt with me at bars just to let him know that other guys find me attractive. Ive gotten fall-down drunk in front of him and fallen asleep with my clothes on.
Example #3: Im pretty sure that Ive let on that hes hands-down the best lover Ive ever experienced. Oh my, oh my. Nuff said.
In the very, very beginning, it was obvious that I had the upper hand. He chased and pursued and persisted. Almost to a fault. But I gave in, and I gave in wholeheartedly. Sure, I enjoyed the moment. And dont get me wrong, Im still very much enjoying (VERY much!!!), but there comes a time when a girl has to regain some decorum. Because I could quickly lose him (see Example #2), and I am finally ready to dedicate some effort and energy into keeping a relationship.
So. Invested? At this point, pretty much. At this point, I have every intention of keeping this going, and that means changing some of my bachelorette ways. More on that later, Im sure.
* Grrr is a play on the new boyfriends name, as well as a little bit of a joking play on his personality (in a good, playful way not a grouchy way yet!)
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