October’s Updates on Various: in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • Oct. 19, 2006, midnight
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  • Public

Relationship Status: So Grrrr and I talked. Quite a bit, actually. And I didn’t think it was necessary at the time to bring up something like counseling—just yet. Because, quite frankly, deep in my heart I feel like if we are getting to the point of talking about a counselor this early in the game, I don’t think we’re going to make it. I mean, come on. Three months into it? A relationship therapist? Hmmm. Makes ya wonder, don’t it? I could tell he’d thought quite a bit about our little tiny tiff Tuesday morning because the moment I got home he kissed me deeply and immediately wanted to start talking. I love that he initiates conversation like this because I have a tendency to seethe and let things stew. He wants to know what I’m thinking pretty much at all times—especially if I’m making screwy faces (that’s when he knows I’m seething about something…I’m pretty easy for him to read). Aneeeeyway. My theory held water. You know, the one about him going through tremendous change and finding comfort in an established relationship? We concluded that we’re simply moving at different speeds. He recognizes my need for more affection/romance/sex and I recognize his need to take comfort and relax and calm the chaos. There’s a lot more, but I don’t feel like getting into it right now. I just feel a bit better about us today. And time is going to tell…

The Loft: Now that Grrrr has moved in, there is progress being made! Nothing like having a boyfriend move in to force the hand, eh? But it’s been pretty fantastic, I have to say. I have been so used to doing it all myself. You know, hanging pictures and mounting shelves and painting, etc. But did you know… Grrrr can do this shit in about ¼ the time it takes me?! And I needn’t lift a finger!! Who knew it would be so great to have a man around the house? I have to say that he’s one of the only boyfriends I’ve ever had who’s extremely handy. If I could just get him to sex me up a bit more, this guy might be worth keeping. And did I mention that he’s an excellent cook?! I did?! Right on.

My Body Issues: I continue to obsess about my weight and body. For the first time since I was a child, I am finally “thin”. And I have never gotten a more positive reaction. It’s weird. Last time I got down to somewhere around 125, people went apeshit and told me I was waaaaayyy too skinny, and what the hell is going on with you?! Now…at 118 (and 5’9”), I am being told that I look amazing (“…not that you were fat before, but…”)!! But of course, there are things. Things that need tightening. Things that just won’t snap back (look, I’m gonna be thirty-NINE next week!). Things that are just not quite right. I will never be satisfied (even if I can fit into size 2s, they are too short!). And lord knows I could crack and balloon up again any second. So, the obsession continues…

Work: Here I am. It’s crazier than ever. In a way I’m glad I’ve had issues with Grrrr and the getting-back-in-shape thing going on. Otherwise, I’d probably lose it here at work. I am glad, though, that I get to travel because I get so antsy here in the office. I tell myself on a daily basis how lucky I am to have such a job. And I am. And if I don’t watch it and stay on the ball I won’t have such a job anymore. I haven’t really taken any vacation time, so it looks like I’m gonna take a lot of it here at the close of the year. This is a good thing, as Grrrr and I have booked ourselves on a cruise from December 24-31st!! We’re both cautiously excited about this trip. It was actually reserved way back in August when we were dreamy little crazies and the thought of going on a cruise during Christmas together was all steamy and warm. But now we’ve actually PAID for the thing and reality is sinking in…well, I suppose if we’re still together at that point, this cruise will either make us or break us. Whoops. I got off on a tangent there. This section is supposed to be about work!! Ummmm…okay. New York trips lined up for November, December, and January. I’m ready for girly happy hours!!


Last updated February 15, 2026


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