But Here’s the Thing. ** in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I’ve been vague, I know. It’s easy to do when you don’t write regular entries. You can’t see the day to day. I tend to write when I’m desperate and I don’t know which way to turn. I write when things are muddy and I can’t see things clearly. I write when I feel I’ve exhausted all of my other outlets (no more booze…ha…joke…sorta!!).

There are so many things about Grrrr that I admire and adore and would like to have/keep in my life. I love that he’s such a do-er. He puts his mind to something and he sees it through to fruition. He’s chivalrous. He’s sexy. He makes me feel pretty, smart, alive. He tells me he’s proud of me. He has a good, good heart. He is generous. He is strong. He is protective. He is loving and will give me a hug even when he’s annoyed with me and doesn’t really want to because he knows it means a lot (sometimes the world) to me (and by the way, I’ll do the same with him).

He is NOT gentle—has a harsh side. He does not beat around the bush when something is bothering him. He can be critical and stubborn. My skin must thicken. I’m working on it.

We have a lot to work on. He has a past that must become part of my present and future, if we stay together. I have a past that keeps me cautious and hesitant. Do you think that his willingness to take risks can help me overcome my nervousness so that we can work through the past? I honestly hope so.

I’m still scared. Yes, I am. But…you’re not going to believe what happened on Tuesday (the night I wrote the last entry).

Okay, maybe you will.

True to his lets-do-it nature, he popped the question.

Yes, HE PROPOSED!!!!!!!

And I said okeeey doke. And then I said I was scared, and he said he was too…but that he wanted us to be together…as a team…me and him.

Yes, there’s more!!! But that’s all I can really get out right now because it’s all so overwhelming. I have to chop these stories into pieces. But there, you got the BIG CHUNK right there!!!

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHWWWWWOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

(holy shit!)

** Re: Slow and steady…yes, we have well over a year to work through all this. Wedding date is set at August 8, 2008 (8-8-8)!!