Itching to squeak an entry out between meetings!
Things have been quite interesting since we last got together. I started to write that I don’t like change and conflict and working through difficult decisions, but really that’s all I’ve been doing for the past few months…and I’d say I’m not only getting used to it, I’m getting better (I hope, anyway!) at it. And not that I particularly like it, I’m actually relieved that I’m facing these challenges. After all, I thought this (this!) would never happen for me. And here I am, planning a WEDDING and a future with someone, and all of the things that go along with blending lives and families.
Grrrrr and I have figured out some of our power struggle issues. That doesn’t mean that conflict doesn’t arise…it does…seems like something comes up on a daily basis! I want to play the blame game, and I sometimes do in my head. But what good does it do me by blaming Grrrr’s relationship with his ex-wife for his reactions to certain things…or my own almost-40 years of singledom for my own hard-headedness? It just doesn’t matter. What matters is the here and now and the fact that as many issues that arise, we’ve been able to sort through them. We know that many, many more will come along time and time again. And I think we’re starting to have faith in the thought that we can DO THIS!
[AM] said it best when she gave me a little mantra, “time, time, time, time, time, time, time…”
As Grrrrr and I approach the year mark, I have to agree. We’re still getting to know each other, trust each other, tap into each other’s idiosyncrasies. And the newness and excitement of a brand new relationship keeps evolving as we move into figuring out our living situations and the kids and the wedding and….everything!
It was a kind of litmus test with my mother. She’s the one who I didn’t expect to be excited about the engagement because, well, she’s usually not really happy with my choices in man-friends. But I¡¦ve never seen her so ecstatic when Grrrr and I took my Dad and her to lunch knowing that we had an announcement to make and spying the ring (I was trying to hide it a little bit) and just gleaming and getting misty and then simply glowing! I was beyond happy when I saw she was pleased. Not that her input would have made a real difference, it’s just nice knowing that I don’t have to do any convincing (yes, I’ve had to do it before).
It was funny because she thought that we were going to announce that we were buying a house. Boy was she shocked when she found out that we are going the fairly traditional route…first a church wedding [SHOCK!], then a home purchase [fingers crossed], then the family [kids will be here off and on…don’t doubt that they might even end up living with us at some point], and just the first glimmerings of talk of adopting [we will see…]. Alas, I’m pretty sure that I’ve come to the conclusion that I won’t be having any biological children, but I know my future will be filled with kids regardless. And I think I’m fine with that. I think. There will be more on this topic in the not-so-distant future.
And so.
The ring? Welllllllll…I have photos from the day after the proposal, but I had to send the ring back for some “adjustments”. It is actually on its way back from being completely redone (it’s an eternity band…diamonds all the way around…so any adjustment requires a whole new ring to be made!). So! It was sent overnight delivery yesterday and that means I should be getting it back today. BUT!! Grrrrr is out of town on a business trip and doesn¡¦t want me to open it without him there.
Fine. If I have to wait, YOU have to wait!
Okay. Lots and lots more to write, but I have a meeting…so.
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