I Need to Write. in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I need to write. It’s making me a little loopy not writing. I’m writing this at work and I don’t like doing that. Been borrowing Grrrr’s computer for almost a year now. I don’t like doing that.

I told him this weekend after a bit of a breakdown that I need to get myself a new computer so that I can do my “journal” thing. I told him that I kept a journal in my last computer and it really helped me sort things out in my squish of a brain. I need to get this stuff out in black and white–onscreen, because if I don’t, it comes spewing out of my mouth in venom and in a twisted language and in ways that I truly don’t mean.

And I suppose I could do it on paper, but I’ve become so used to a keyboard and the cathartic “send” button. And besides, I wrote a note-to-self that I left carelessly on my bedside table and Grrrr read it. In a way, I was embarrassed. In another way, I felt the tiniest bit of relief that he knows that he’s not the only one who feels out of sorts lately.

I will buy a new computer by the end of this coming weekend.

I am doing my research, and I think I want this.

And when I get it, here are a few tidbits I am DYING to write about: