Can’t sleep. It’s my laaaaaaaast night of this trip. It’s approaching 2am Saturday at this point (which is almost 11am Friday at home), and I am just ready to jump out of my skin. Was so exhausted at 8pm when we got back in from dinner, so I took a nap until 9:30, at which time I declared to myself that it was bed time so I threw off my clothes and got under the covers and slept until about 12:30.
It’s all very Lost in Translation. If I had the gumption, I’d get dressed and go to the bar upstairs, have a drink, listen to the tinkling piano while gazing in wonder at the view of Tokyo. Perhaps I’d even chat with fellow travelers…but I’m not even sure if they’re open and the last thing I need to do is get tipsy and come back here, fall asleep and then miss my 8:30am bus to the airport.
I do NOT want to miss that flight. Nor do I want any delays. Nor do I want to be hungover. Now having a drink ON the plane is a different story, and I’d like to sleep on the planeride home because I’ll be getting into [city] at 9:30 on Saturday morning. I’ll have the weekend with TFMS and then he’ll leave on another trip, so I want to make the most of this weekend. We have some catching up to do.
It’s always so weird coming back from a trip that’s longer than a few days. TFMS always says that it takes time for your soul to catch up with you when you travel. And he and I seem to have the need to “find” each other again. I left for this trip on such good terms with TFMS. It sucks to have to re-sync every single time. I wonder if this will get easier with time?
I do have to say that this trip in general has been easier on my emotions than the last few trips. Perhaps that it’s simply a couple of days shorter. I bet that’s what it is. 10 days seems to be my cracking point. This trip will mark 13 days, but my last biggie was something like 16 or 17 and I think I blew a few gaskets.
You know what helps? The fact that I haven’t been drinking much lately. I do remember getting hammered a couple times on my last trip and I think the booze/travel/time zone thing throws me into chaos. Since I promised TFMS that I wasn’t going to be such a raging alcoholic anymore, my emotional (and physical) well-being is noticeably more stable.
Also, as you know, I’ve been running. WOW! What an amazing thing–to have the opportunity to run through the most stunning places. I am falling in love with running (weird, I know!), and there are so many reasons for this:
(1) State of mind…I do a kind of “meditation” when I run. I know it’s not the exact definition of meditation, but sometimes I focus on breathing, sometimes I have conversations in my head and try to work through stuff, sometimes I just take in my surroundings and it literally makes me cry with joy
(2) Ease…I’ve finally found something that I can do anywhere and at almost any time. Even if the weather is bad there is usually a treadmill close by.
(3) Body…even though I don’t really see a difference in my body, I can feel it. My legs are so much tighter and I really like that feeling. I’ve even started to CRAVE exercise if I don’t get out there and work up a good sweat at least every other day. It’s an amazing thing. I’ve always HATED working out–especially running. What has happened? I don’t know, but I’m thrilled.
(4) Encouragement…TFMS is my biggest supporter, and if not for his encouraging words I would have never started in on this little “hobby”. He tells me how proud he is of my dedication and that it’s a total turn-on for him. And of course, that keeps me striving for more. You know I’m the kind of person who THRIVES on attention, praise and encouragement. This could not have worked out better. Plus, it’s kind of getting him back into the swing of running. He was a track star in high school and this comes naturally to him. He’s running with me sometimes. I think might even up the libido–which can’t hurt, now can it?!
Anyway. Pretty good trip. I LOVED Rome like a whirlwind! I think I took the fastest solo walking tour known to mankind. Got lost a couple of times, but every time I did, I seemed to stumble upon something even more unbelievable than the next: Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain, The Pantheon, Colosseum!!! WOW! All of this, AND I worked.
Paris and London were OK. Was with Boss and BPP, and that is stressful, but again not as bad as the last trip. Still, Boss and I had to do a little babysitting and BPP was “sick” half the time and was sending us on wild goose chases the other half of the time. Aaaah the joys of the job!
Of course, the visit with Oma was incredible, and I’m really glad I did it. The language barrier wasn’t so bad because Oma would say everything in German and then translate the words she could see I didn’t understand afterwards. All in all, the whole thing was exhausting (and a little scary), but I’m happy we met. I know she is wary of the thought of a second wife for TFMS, and this has been the year of meeting a whole new family that I’m going to have to live with (even if most of the family IS his EX-FAMILY). What can I do? Resistance to this stuff is futile, so I might as well suck it ALLLLL up and hang on for the ride. What good is life without uncomfortable situations? If everything were rosy, how would we recognize the beauty of anything? I truly believe that TFMS entered my life to help me learn lessons on an almost daily basis. And learn I do. Not without struggles, but…I’m getting better.
AND!! Tokyo was very nice…the weather during the last two days has been insanely beautiful: warm and sunny. Too bad we didn’t get to get out and really enjoy. We spent most of our time in the subway, in tall buildings and in taxis. And I get sooooo tired so early in the evening so I end up taking naps that keep me from sleeping at night. But again, last night here and I’m happy to finally be able to get an entry logged here.
BPP told us that she’s not drinking as much. True, not in public anyway. Now she sneaks. Her behavior is so erratic now that we don’t like traveling with her. She’s also shaky and easily annoyed. She leaves to go to the bathroom and comes back reeking of alcohol. She repeats entire conversations that we could have had 5 minutes earlier. I am worried. No only for her but for us as well. Nobody benefits from a leader who is derailing. She flew home yesterday with some excuse. I know it has something to do with not flying on the same plane so that she can take sleeping pills and drink and act like a freak without anyone she knows seeing the mess.
It’s hard to watch and not my place to intrude. All I can do is tell her about the way I’m now living my life (remember, I used to try to keep up with her–drink for drink–and she LOVED me for it).
Hey, wow. It’s now 2:30am. I’m still not tired. I think I’m going to take a shower and then pack. Maybe I’ll post some pix if I have a whole lot of time before the coffee shop opens.
Glad we had this little chat.
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