Bullets in Between in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • Oct. 14, 2008, midnight
  • |
  • Public

  • The Story. In Parts. is long and tedious. That’s a clue.
  • I’ve become very attached to TMG. At this point, I don’t know what I’d do without him. We text first thing in the morning. We usually text right before we both go to bed. It’s weird. I love him in a way. It doesn’t matter how low I get, he’s been there for me through this whooooooole breakup and I’m terribly thankful. I owe him. I really wish I wanted to date him…or even…whatever with him. He’s a bit frustrated with that part of it, but sticks around. He promised he’d see me through this and so far he’s kept his promise. That says a lot about him.
  • I forgot to tell you this part: Yes, TMG started dating someone. I could tell he liked her because he backed off of me, yet never left me in the lurch or crying somewhere in a back alley. He was still texting and making sure I was OK…just a bit preoccupied. But it didn’t work out with her. And now I have his full attention again. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a not-so-great thing considering I’m not sure what to do with him, but…
  • I went to the State Fair on Sunday with TMG, his dad, his kids, and his ex-wife. It wasn’t weird at all. It reminded me a LOT of doing stuff with EXMS, his kids and his ex…except this time I was fine with the whole thing. Back then (with EXMS), it bothered me so much to have to “be friends” with the ex-wife. I fought it. I let it eat at me. Maybe I have learned lessons from my failed relationship after all. Or maybe I’m just less uptight with TMG. Plus, we’re not dating, right?
  • I did cheat my way around Facebook (fucking loopholes) and found a couple more photos of EXMS and his new love. Again, more “replacement” photos. She’s in the EXACT same position as I was two years ago. It’s almost scary. It tore me apart one day. I can’t decide if it’s worth my energy to get angry, but I need something to replace that sadness that I feel. Sometimes it just smacks me in the face and I simply can’t believe he’s gone. And that he left soooooo easily.
  • I have to let go. Please let go.
  • I have found some old friends on Facebook, and that is rocking me so hard! How cool is it to get back in touch with people you haven’t seen in 20 years?
  • Work is kicking my ass. I’ve been staying late and (sometimes) coming in early. I feel like I’m scrambling a lot and my boss (the awesome boss!) is moody and stressed and coming down hard on me. Damn economy. Please turn around. Between traveling and staying long hours, work is taking a big bite into my social life.
  • But I manage to fill my calendar in the off-hours. I have the gym tonight and then TMG wants to hang out for a while. Dinner with Matt on Wednesday night, a wine-tasting event on Thursday night, and another dinner event on Friday night. Saturday? Who knows. I might not even do anything. What a treat!
  • I really need to work on the homestead. I haven’t let anyone into my living space since EXMS left (except for mom, dad, and a couple of family-close friends). Weird…like it’s sacred or something. It keeps me a bit lonely, and I’m tired of it. A small party would be nice for a change.
  • Speaking of parties, TMG is hosting a party at his place next week. I told him that it could be my BIRTHDAY party! I was just joking, and he was all, OK!!! It’s a masquerade party. Fun! More details to follow, I’m sure.
  • Also going to a Halloween party with Lovely L. and Anna (who’s coming to town!). I don’t have any details, just that I’m supposed to dress. I have no clue what to do. My friend Cindy says I should be Catwoman. I kind of like that idea, as long as nobody confuses cat with cougar. Ick.
  • I forgot to send an email to the photographer I got drunk with last Thursday. He’d wrapped his scarf around my neck at some point, and I found it tangled up with some clothes over the weekend. Wow. Haven’t been that hammered in forever. I’m glad I did it because it was FUNNNNNN, but I paid for it pretty much all weekend. Maybe I’ll do that now…
  • Actually, I have lots and LOTS more work to do, so that takes care of what to do now!
  • More story to follow! It’s good, I promise…it just takes a long time to tell. Meanwhile, life goes on!


  • Last updated 5 days ago


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