Shoulda written last night. Supposed to be getting ready for work. This will be quick.
I woke on my 41st to tears. I woke on the sofa where I’d drifted off the night before. The morning just felt…off.
I sent a text to TMG. I guess it sounded weird to him. He called me and asked me to come over for coffee. Said OK.
When I opened my door, there was a gift outside. It was from EXMS. I was very surprised.
Coffee with TMG (which was really nice). I told him of the note and the gift. TMG suggested a restraining order. He was serious. Then a race back to my loft to get ready for church. Had planned a birthday brunch afterwards.
Church. Lovely and inspiring, though I still felt teary-eyed.
Walking out of church and down the sidewalk towards my car, I spotted someone familiar. Yes, EXMS. My heart raced and there was no place to move but forward towards him. We met and talked for a moment. He cried a little. I told him he had to stop doing this to me. I told him I’d seen the pix of the two of them on facebook. I told him I’d seen the one of her sitting in his windowsill wearing only his shirt. He looked shocked…like he had no clue I could see them.
Whatever. He begged and pleaded. I didn’t give much response at all. Not sure why I didn’t tell him to fuck off, to go to hell, etc. But it just didn’t seem right. Like that’s what he expects or something. I was shaking on the inside. He asked me to go to breakfast, and I said no, that I had a birthday brunch to go to.
He asked me to do something later with him. I shrugged it off, but didn’t say yes or no.
Brunch with Maria and TMG was nice, but I didn’t say anything about EXMS’s confrontation for fear of a VERY severe reaction from them both.
Home from brunch to flowers from EXMS waiting outside my door.
Took a nap.
Had to leave a couple hours later to meet my parents for one last b-day celebration over dinner and coffee.
I told them what happened. They are disgusted at this point. I am just so very sad.
Yeah, at first it was a little boost for the ego–knowing that he will keep coming back. Now it is a torture. And I’m pretty sure he knows it.
* edit *
Okay. I know I said it before, and it was easy to say when he sent me that email telling me that he had feelings for someone else, but I AM resolved. And perhaps I’m not doing this the right way, but I just sent EXMS an email telling him to please respect my wishes for him to stay out of my life. It’s affecting my healing and it’s unfair to both of us. It was firm without being bitchy. I promise.
If that doesn’t work, further action WILL be taken, and it won’t be from ME. That, I promise too.
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