Weird weekend.
First and foremost, I didn’t have my dinner date (potential RAD) last night. Tell me if this is being too difficult: He’d called me on Thursday to set up dinner on Saturday. Asked me if I wanted to do dinner, and I said yes. Asked me if I had any place in particular in mind, and I said no. Asked me if I had a particular time in mind, and I said not really, just whatever normal going-out-to dinner time might be…perhaps 7 or 7:30? Fine. He told me he’d work out the details (most likely something very close to my hood) and let me know.
I didn’t hear from him at all on Friday, and on Saturday mid-morning I still hadn’t heard from him, and I had another opportunity to see a band play early on Saturday (a friend’s band)…so I sent him a text telling him that my day was starting to get hectic, and if he could meet around 8? He sent a text back saying, “[place nowhere close to my hood] at 8?”
And I sent a text saying, “I thought you wanted to go somewhere in [place close to hood]?”
And he quickly wrote back: “Too late in the evening for anything decent in [place close to hood] on a Sat night. Let’s just cancel. Just have the feeling this isn’t a good fit. Take care [Ginger].”
Um. REALLY? 8 is too late for dinner? Sure, the area gets crowded, but he was supposed to be making reservations, right? Am I too difficult? WTF?
So I sent him a text back: “Wow. Interesting. OK. My parting recommendation: don’t lie about your age, etc. online. Too easy for people to find out. Much luck.”
And his final reply: “Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Thanks for the advice. Age matters not. Good luck and I have a feeling you’ll be moving east very soon. All’s well that [sic].”
Huh?
Eh. No love lost there, but it was just the damn icing on the cake for my pity party yesterday. Combine a date cancellation, K’s long lost love’s visit and subsequent sexfest, and the fact that I’m still crying over EXMS (I know, just let me finish grieving long and hard), and that was the perfect recipe for a meltdown in TMG’s car after we had lunch and dropped his kids off at the waterpark.
GAH. Stupid and old and TMG doesn’t deserve me dumping this stuff on him any more, but I just couldn’t stop it. I’m just so tired of trying. And I’m thinking I’m going to have to take a break from dating even before it gets back off the ground. It’s obvious that I’m still not ready and I should be more focused on the job situation at this point anyway.
So last night, TMG and I went to see his friend play in a punk show at a venue next to my building. She’s somehow gotten herself into this creative outlet, and it would be one thing if the band was anywhere near being listenable. But they blew–extra hard. My ears started bleeding after song #1, and it went downhill after that.
And TMG had taken a narcotic pain killer for a severe toothache before the show, and I was freaking out about that. He is 17 years clean and I was really bothered by the whole thing and felt like I needed to watch him very closely. I kept asking him if he was OK, and he actually got a little silly and that shook me…until I remembered that he is naturally silly and obviously just feeling some relief from the pain. Still, incredibly weird to be a witness to a recovering addict partake in his poison (even for true medicinal reasons) and I just hope he doesn’t need to take any more. His dentist appointment is tomorrow.
And in order to ease my bleeding ears, I drank a whole bottle of bubbly and got giggly. TMG and I eventually left to go watch a movie, and I fell asleep at his place. It’s weird to sleep there (I’ve done it a few times) and not even kiss, but it’s nice knowing that he’s not going to try anything. And yet it makes me sooooooo sad to not be in a romantic relationship. I’m still surprised that he stands for it (the not having sex, etc.), but he does, and I like the closeness of sleeping next to him…sometimes.
I just hate being in this place.
Today, Cindy and I were supposed to have brunch, but she blew me off! TMG asked me to do something, but I told him that I was meeting Cindy. So I’m left with some alone time, and it’s nice. A little lonely, but I’m fine with it.
The other day, Cindy told me something that kind of boosted my ego: ex-Boss is having a VERY difficult time filling my old position. She apparently found someone in NYC that she LOVED. You know I’m in fashion, right? And this person was from Conde Nast (Vogue mag), and I guess ex-Boss was drooling all over this chick. But guess who didn’t like her? Everyone else this woman interviewed with! See, it’s not enough to have ex-Boss like you. It’s a consensus of the teams you will be working with. And there are some MAJOR-LEAGUE personalities mixed in there. Boss Party Pants hated her, my old nemesis hated her, etc. etc… and that means that ex-Boss must keep looking. And let me tell you, this position is one of the most political in the company. It is UGLY in there!! So whoever replaces me is guaranteed a bumpy ride. It would be a promotion for Cindy if she were asked to take the position, and she’s all, “Helllllls no, I don’t want your old job!!!”
And I don’t wish terrible things on ex-Boss, really. It’s just that I am feeling relief that she’s going to have a very hard time replacing me. I suffered long and hard for that job. It’s time that she realize everything involved and who she’s really dealing with. So the only thing I wish for her is some eye-opening, and I think I’m getting that wish.
I’m not sure when I’ll hear about the other job, but the more I think about it, the more I want it. I would be really, REALLY sad to move from the area because I do love it here and I’m close to mom and dad, but that job would be so perfect to round out my resume. And if I ever do want to get into consulting, it would be so perfect.
I’m not tangled up in a relationship, I’m not working, and nothing’s holding me back.
I’m crossing my fingers that they extend an offer I can’t refuse. And I’m still not too proud to ask for positive thoughts from you, either!
OK, looks like Cindy is un-blowing me off. She’s called and just sent a text about having an early dinner. Perfect timing!
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