PIC OF THE DAY!
Prompt today is ICONIC. Pretty self-explanatory. This is a little tree my parents put by their front door. I seem to find the perfect photo after I post, so I’m sure I’ll find something really awesome later.
TODAY…
1. Thankful for new opportunities I’m working through.
2. Thankful for some voices of reason.
3. Happy to keep CC as a friend and thankful for his kind, supportive words.
4. Thankful for such a gorgeous day (cold, but sunny!)
5. Thankful I have so much to do! Must get on it NOW!
First and foremost, I’ve never been on meds and I’m not going to start now. I’ve worked through all of that in several previous entries, and if you want to see the reasons why you can take some time and go back to read. It’s a tired debate that I’m not going to have.
Secondly, I’m not trying to pry open any doors. I was only delivering what I thought was a decent sentiment to someone who shared my life for a few years and is having a milestone birthday. I do not regret it today. Yes, you can certainly tell me that any kind of message is considered opening a door. But if you could see it in it’s full context, it’s actually closure. You can believe me or not. The only person I have to prove it to is myself.
Yes, I still get bluesy. But I do that every month. I did it before him, and I’ll probably do it as long as these hormones are pumping through my bod.
And yes, I did ask the question yesterday, so I shouldn’t really get defensive at comments (because then this isn’t really just a diary, is it?), but you know what? I feel differently about things today…in the light of a new day.
I’m not necessarily pleased with myself, but I’m not beating myself up about it today. What’s done is done and I’m moving on. Sure, I backslide. More than most. Look at LDL. Believe it or not, in comparison, I’m doing much better. Good Lord, I was flying across the country to regularly torture myself! Nobody gave me any shit for that–when it was all fun and games and I declared it a “long distance booty call.” It wasn’t.
Bottom line, I feel good today. I’m formulating a plan for the coming months, and I’m determining what’s important and what’s holding me back.
Yeah, I realize that I tend to be my biggest obstacle. I’m extremely hard on myself. And then I share it with the world. Heh. Probably not the very smartest thing in the world. Oh well.
Okay, enough of that.
The texts continued with Daniel last night. He asked what I was doing over the weekend, and I told him I was going out of town on Saturday and I’d be back Sunday. But we both determined that we were free next week. I’d hoped it would prompt him to ASK. Alas, no.
So yeah, I’m going on a quickie girls’ trip. Should be…interesting. Nobody is willing to make definite plans, so I’m getting discouraged. Lovely said she wants to drive, and Sandra was the one to initiate the whole thing, but neither of them are stepping up. I’ve called them both, multiple times only to be answered with “maybe…”. Frustrating. I’m tempted to drive myself there (three hour drive) and go to the party and visit my brother, who just moved back to that town.
Other than that, I need to get a move-on. Duty calls and I have several things on my to-do list.
So. Onward!
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