Good Lord, people. I love you all so much I can’t even TELL you. The public notes, the private notes–I could kiss you ALL. A million times over and then make love to you (provided we are exclusive, of course)!!
Seriously, words can’t begin to express how awesome you are when asked for advice. You never fail to AMAZE me.
Yes, I find myself falling into the same old role I played with EXMS, LDL and pretty much everyone in my life. It’s not just the sex thing…it’s work, it’s friends, it’s family, it’s any and every touchy subject. I mean, for the most part.
I feel like I got really gypped by K. because I really asserted myself with him (for a while, and then backed off…hmmm, okay. I get it. I also agree with [MG] who said that not everyone is like K.). Bottom line: say it, mean it, and then follow through.
CC and I have a date tomorrow night. We talked briefly today on the phone and it was chipper and upbeat, but nothing was said except for making some tentative plans to get together before the theater. Yes, the theater again! Love it!
I think I have my talking points down. Basically, I’m taking [Parliament]’s advice (for once, ha!) and I’m going to lay it on the line, telling him that even though we came really, REALLY close to doin’ it, I can’t go there without exclusivity. Plain and simple. What have I got to lose? A guy who refuses and walks away? Well then, pfft.
Because I’ll tell you this too (and dammit, I do tend to gloss over some things and forget to tell you!!), CC did tell me that this has been the most fun he’s had without having sex….soooooo, that’s a great thing, no?
Today I was at the studio, working on The Bag. It will be done on Friday and I can’t wait to post pix!
Tomorrow is The Interview, and I’m really looking forward to that. I’m nervous, but in a good way. I’ve got some things I need to study up on, and my friend Fred sent me a whole bunch of FANTASTIC questions to ask (he used to be a VP of Sales for a vendor of this company) and knows several people quite well…even made some phone calls on my behalf.
PLEASE send good vibes my way if you have a sec. For the interview, for my talk, and for my freaking SANITY.
Four Agreements. Four Agreements. Four Agreements. That is all.
Love, juicy love!
**********MAJOR EDIT**********
Okay, if this doesn’t prove what a gigantic freak I become when dealing with men and letting things roll around in my brain for a while, NOTHING will.
A little late-night texting with CC tonight. He’s at his wine-tasting friend’s house drinking and making me jealous because he’s drinking a magnum bottle of ’85 Dom Perignon Rose and just HAD to share (you know how much I love my bubbly, but come on!!!! Pink Dom?! Stop it now!!).
Aneeeeyway, his texts are funny and he made some reference to the play we’re seeing tomorrow night. It has a sexual theme. I mean, it couldn’t be more apropos…it’s based on the ancient Greek comedy, Lysistrata, where the women withhold sex from the men until they end the war and there is peace…
So I sent him a text back saying he was hooked on that theme.
And he wrote back, “Yeah, we do have a recurring theme…and it’ll probably remain so. I’m enjoying it, along with your company, [Ginger].”
Are you KIDDING ME???
Okay. This guy WANTS me to control that part of the show?! Not only am I relieved, but I am shocked and embarrassed that I caused such a scene in my diary!!
What is wrong with me??!!!
I promise I will take alllllll that advice to heart and use it in the future, but it appears that I won’t have to be having THAT particular conversation tomorrow. Still, it does go to show that it’s extremely important to be on the same page and that everything is clear, you know? And it also tells me that we obviously need to get to know each other a little better before we can go making assumptions (in fact, NEVER assume, right?! Agreement #3).
GOD, I am breathing the biggest sigh of relief right now! And I also feel so much more comfortable about the thought of actually broaching ALL of the subjects I prematurely freaked out about today.
For now, Total Idiot Freak signing out.
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