Sunday evening and I’m supposed to be getting some WORK done. Surprised? I’m not either. What a wonderful weekend, though. I really enjoyed it, even if it was lonelier than normal.
I had a lot of opportunity to get some rest AND some exercise: two things that I’ve really been lacking lately. It was nice to run on the trail both Saturday AND today. Also nice to socialize, even if I don’t have a hint of L.O.V.E. in sight.
I’ve dumped CC for good. I mean it this time. God, that guy was such a fucking LIAR! Why didn’t I see that? Why am I so trusting? I think part of was simply because I didn’t want to be alone, and part of it was I loved the places he took me and the cool experiences he gave me. And another part of it was the fact that we really did have a great time together as friends. I mean, he was such a sweet and giving person. But I’ll tell you something: when it comes to sex and being honest with me, the guy is the absolute worst.
Turns out, he was banging anything and everything he could get his hands on. Ew. And then I let him touch me?? Double ew. Truly messed up. Guy was a HUGE perv, banging girls as young as his daughter. Seriously. His range was from 18-47. He was NOT selective. And how he did it on the sly is as mind-boggling as the lies. Okay, so he doesn’t work normal office hours, but seriously, I felt like he covered his ass and accounted for every waking hour. I guess when you’re good at sneaking around, you’re really good, eh?
Regardless, I found out. I got it out of him simply by initiating certain types of conversation with him. I told him how I wanted to be 100% honest with him about everything–and I was. I told him about Mikey and the fact that we were getting closer, and though we hadn’t had sex, I was seriously contemplating a lot of the things that he was telling me that he wants (a relationship that eventually leads to marriage). I told him other things too…just for the sake of keeping everything out in the open.
I guess that got to him in several different ways. At first, he was jealous, but interestingly, still not jealous enough to take a stand with me. That was a huge sign (okay, yes, sometimes I have to be hit over the head).
Finally, I caught him in a big ol’ lie that he couldn’t twist his way out of. We were having a drink after work last Monday, and talking, talking and laughing, when his phone rang. It was some girl he’d told me that he’d dumped upon his return from France. I questioned further and poked and prodded around until he was backed into a corner. I asked him if he’d fucked her. Flat out. At first he denied. And then, he hung his head and admitted that yes, he had. Yes, he’d lied about it and yes, she was 24 years old. All things he’d lied and lied over and over about. I mean, seriously it would be one thing to openly admit, right? If that’s your thing, then fine. I wouldn’t want to date you, but whatever. But to deny and deny until it is forced out of you?
I don’t know. Having sex with CC probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t regret it. It was fun and good and we used protection (natch). I knew he’d never be my boyfriend, and that’s a big part of why I simply gave up and gave in. It simply felt good. I left my heart out of it. I really did. For the most part. I mean, my heart was already kinda in the game, but I protected that too.
So then it was out in the open. I just looked at him and told him to go away. He did. He walked out the door. But 3 minutes later and he was back, telling me that he didn’t want to not see me. That we should work it out and wah, wah, wah.
I told him to GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
And those were the last words I’ve spoken to him, because he knew I was serious then.
So.
Now there’s Mikey. And he’s complicated as well. I’ll fill you in on more details later, but I guess I’m wondering about something that I’ve never really experienced before. See, he has his kids 50% of the time, and I think that’s wonderful. But he’s asking me to come over tonight (if I want to) after the kids are in bed. Is that weird? Do people do that? I mean, is that a legitimate way of having a kind of a date? I really want to see him, but I feel so sneaky like this. It’s almost the reverse of when I was in high school and I wanted to see my boyfriend, so he got a ladder and climbed onto the roof of the garage and snuck in my window!! As crazy as that was, I feel like I’m doing the same thing by sneaking into this guy’s house while his kids (ages 12 and 8) are in bed, asleep!
Ok. Gotta run. I’ve got some work to finish up, a phone call to make to Cindy, and then I’m waiting to hear back from Mikey for when the coast is clear!
This is CRAZY!!
I hope to write more about the weekend, but until then…big, juicy KISSES!!
XO
*I’m not going over. Mikey sent a text at 8:45 telling me the kids were in bed. I have a feeling that he’d kind of rushed them into bed so I could have some time to get there. I sent a text back saying that if I come over I can’t stay long, and we had a couple of texts back and forth, and then I just asked him to call me. He told me that if I’m not comfortable with it, not to come and we could see each other another time, for sure. It was at that moment, when his little boy came into the room telling his daddy that he couldn’t sleep. Do you think he sensed something? I’ll bet he did!!
I feel relief that I’m not sneaking over there, but I wonder if that’s one of Mikey’s M.O.s. Guess there’s nothing like continuing along the 100% honesty and disclosure route, eh?
I’m looking forward to seeing Mikey again and having more conversations. I’m really starting to like him, but I also want it to be for all the right reasons, not just that he has the most spectacular penis I’ve ever seen.
Heh.
Keep setting me straight, folks. Thanks.
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