I’m leaving for Las Vegas and then Shanghai, Southern China and Hong Kong in a week from today. So much shit has to get done between now and then and I am getting pretty severe anxiety over it. Why does work have to get like this, hmmmmm? Seriously, I don’t even want to delve into it because it gives me agita.
Good news is, I think I’ve got Krab Kakes under control!! I don’t even want to get into that, but I’m sure I will at some point because I’m pretty happy about that. It’s the little successes, eh?
Bad news is, Flirty VP is back. And he’s bugging me via e-mail. So much so that I feel obligated to write him back pretty promptly because he expects business answers out of me, but that he does it on purpose just to hear from me. They are about 50/50 business to personal, and though I want to be on a good, friendly level with him, but shit man, give it a break!
SexyPants is still around, and we had a phenomenal weekend together! I’m really digging him and we are getting closer every time we see each other…to the point that we’ve both said that we would be really bummed if it didn’t work out between us.
What does “working out” mean? I don’t really know. I know he calls what we have a “relationship” even though we are simply dating and haven’t slept together.
I’m enjoying getting to know him, similarly to the way I got to know CC. And yes, we all know how THAT worked out. I don’t know. I don’t know if holding out is right or wrong. I want to have sex with him, but I also want to go about it the right way, and I still don’t quite know how to do it. This was the dilemma with CC.
See, what I want is for him to declare himself my boyfriend and I want to be established as his girlfriend (simply meaning we won’t see anyone else–and especially don’t SLEEP with anyone else), and nobody seems to do it that way anymore.
Am I really that old-fashioned? Why can’t I seem to get there?
Anyway, I’ve decided something. See, he’s meeting me in Vegas when I go there for business. We’re going to stay together and have two nights together. I’ve already warned him not to have expectations of wild, crazy Vegas nights of sex and debauchery.
I’m going to tell him that IF we sleep together that I need something from him: I need him to tell me that he won’t sleep with OR date anyone else while we’re together. I don’t want him to have his women on the side (if he has them….and I have a feeling that he does). I need the time for us together to be pure. I’m not going to put pressure on him to commit to years and years together–I just want us to ONLY be with each other while we are together. If it’s just a month, then fine. If it’s a year, fine. But I just need to know that he will only be with me during the duration of whatever it is we will have.
And if either one of us feels the need to “be” with someone else, be it a date or a booty call or an outright fuck, that we will be very honest with each other and end what we have.
Is that fair? Does that sound reasonable? I don’t know what else to do or say.
OK. Need to get to work, but I just wanted to tap that thought out.
Love you more than brownies!!! XO!
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