PIC OF THE DAY!
What in the world.
TODAY…
1. So very thankful for my job. It’s work that I love
2. Thankful that I have a boyfriend and I’m very curious to know more!
3. Thankful I got to see my BFF over the weekend.
4. Thankful for the time I spent with my parentals yesterday, even though my mom was grouchy.
5. Thankful for this place to write it all down…hope it stays here for a long, long time.
Are you serious? It’s November already? Do you think I can pull off the one-a-day entries this year? I don’t know, but let’s see, shall we? Gotta start somewhere.
SexyPants is gone again. Another biz trip. He goes away for like a week at a time because he’s with his son every other week. I don’t know if I like the on-again, off-again. It’s weird. But I guess it’s better than seeing him once a month or something. When he’s here it’s all SexyPants, all the time. And then he goes and it’s not like I’m lost by any means, but it feels like “oh well, there goes my new BF again.”
His kid is in trouble. The one with Asperger’s. He’s getting in trouble at school a lot, and I think he’s one step away from expulsion. So SexyPants is coming back to town on Wednesday and then he leaves again…I’m guessing on Monday, to go take care of kid business with his ex-wife.
He’s also estranged from his daughter right now, and that’s kind of a sad story as well. What a bummer that he has kid trouble, eh?
I guess I’m glad I don’t have kid trouble. In fact, I’m probably the easiest girlfriend he might ever have. I’m so flexible and I pick him up at the airport every time he flies in (not an inconvenience since my office is right next to the airport and he plans his flights around my schedule), I’m not really encumbered with a lot of extracurricular activities (maybe I should be?), I’m totally available to go with him to his family’s Thanksgiving.
Is it possible that I’m too easy and he’ll tire of that?
Don’t know why I’m worried about it, but I am. I want to hold his attention and while I was holding it when I was withholding sex (not as a weapon or ploy, but just to help get to know him), I just wonder if he’ll feel like this is just way too easy.
Too good to be true?
I know I’m a catch, but…should I make it a little harder for him to catch me?
I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong. I just know that I really like to be with him when he’s here. And I really don’t like it much when he’s not, but there’s nothing I can do about it and it’s okay…we talk every night on the phone.
I hate talking on the phone. I don’t loathe it or despise it, but I just…eh, I guess I don’t hate it. But face-to-face is much better.
What to do. How to be. I mean, I’m being myself, but being myself hasn’t always worked for me in the past. Still, it’s the only way I know how to be. What if I’m just incompatible with pretty much everyone?
All it takes is one, right? That’s what I’m banking on.
I don’t have any desire to look at anyone else right now. I’m just not so sure that he does/doesn’t.
STOP thinking like that!!! Why can’t I help it?
In other news, I’m chubby again and I hate it. My face is full and round and so is my ass.
Saw my BFF and her hub at a Halloween party. Wore a catsuit that I filled out completely. Got comments from both of them, so I told them that I’m a good 20 lbs. heavier than when EXMS left me at their house. They couldn’t believe it, and also told me that I look a million times better, but…I don’t know. I don’t feel great in my skin.
I’m not comfortable being flabby in front of my new man. I know he can tell, even if I’m extremely open and uninhibited sexually with him. I know he knows I don’t like showing my ass and my tummy.
I took a diet pill today, and now I feel wacky and kind of high. I bet it’s coming across in this entry.
I’m drinking a glass of wine to try to bring myself down a notch. Not working yet.
Sorry this is disjointed. Must be the happy pillz.
Must calm down.
I can’t think of other stuff right now. Life is still good. I’m happy. I’m just not content.
Oh, and I do love you more than punkin’ pie with healthy dollops of whipped crrrrream!!! (my ass does too!)
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