PIC OF THE DAY!
fork it.
TODAY…
1. Thankful for the rain, I guess.
2. Thankful for getting up super early this morning and voting. I was Voter #6 at my poll!
3. Thankful that there’s only one more day ’til I see my Baby.
4. Thankful for texts that make me laugh.
5. Thankful for this bottomless glass of wine.
I don’t know. It’s the end of my day and I am struggling to get out entry #2??? It’s gonna be a loooooong month! Plus, tomorrow I pick up SexyPants and we’ll spend all of MY freetime together until he leaves again on Monday.
Gah, I just wrote here this long diatribe about how things seem weird with SexyPants on this business trip of his this time, and he just called and put many of my neurotic feelings to rest…though I’m still not 100% convinced.
Have I always been this neurotic, or does it get worse with age/experiences/history?
SexyPants and I are supposed to take the 4-hour drive to Best Bud’s place over the weekend. He wants to take us on his Harley so that we can ride back to [my city] with his BFF and BFF’s wife, who are both Harley riders. That will be funnnnnn and I’m actually VERY excited about that!
Going to Best Bud’s place because there’s a charity walk for ALS. My good friend Gregory’s brother was just diagnosed about three months ago, and he’s going to die. We’re walking for ALS research, and while it makes me super, duper sad, I’m glad to do it. I’m looking forward to rallying around Gregory and his family.
Work’s crazyy busy, but I’ve been a tad distracted the past couple of days. Must just quell this brain of mine and get it back in gear. I’ll be working a little later tomorrow–until about 7:15, when I stop to pick up SexyPants.
Fell asleep like a big loser tonight when I came home from work. Can’t seem to get enough sleep lately, and that’s kind of bugging me too.
I should be on TOP of the world right now, but why can’t I shake whatever this is?
After I wrote last night’s entry, I flirted with wild abandon (sorta) with a facebook friend last night==because I could. Totally harmless. He’s getting a divorce and lives a million miles away, but it’s weird. After I even said that I only have eyes for SexyPants I found myself flirting. It didn’t really feel like anything harmful, but then I thought about the fact that if I knew he were doing something like that, I’d feel….see?? SEE?
I know, deep breaths and all of that junk. I’m going to freak myself right out of this brand new thing I have going. When did I turn into such a hopeless freak?
Oh that’s right. I ALWAYS have been one where it comes to men.
My brain juices at work. I need a hobby that will keep my mind from wandering like this. I need to plan a bunch of girl time for the next time he skips town. Whatever this is will NOT work if I keep going down this path. This will KILL my relationship quite easily and I know it. I’ve already spent waaaaay too much energy on it.
Ugh. Dating sucks, but brand spanking new relationships suck even HARDER!! I mean, I’m thrilled to be in one, don’t get me wrong, but….FUCK. I’m so NERVOUS to be in one too.
I’m so scared of being screwed over again. Of blowing it. Of being humiliated again. Of doing something wrong. Of falling to pieces. Of letting my dumb thoughts get the best of me as they obviously have.
Be gentile with the comments, will ya. I’m embarrassed for writing this, but I had to write something (well, I wanted to write something), and this is just what’s top of mind right now.
Blame it on NoMoFo.
Anyway, I love you. More than wine while soaking in a bubble bath on a cold, rainy night right before climbing into a fluffy feather bed.
Goodnight, lovers.
Goodnight, freak-brain. May you wake to a new day with a new attitude about things.
* Can’t sleep. I’m making a vow right now to turn my brain around and fill up my social calendar. Damn.
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