I don’t know why, but I feel better today. Perhaps it’s because I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol last night. I also think it has something to do with writing down some of the things that I do like about myself right now. Of course that list can be expounded upon and I will do that shortly.
I know it’s going to be a long road to recovery from this speedbump. I have a lot to learn about why I do and choose the things I do. Why do I make things hard for myself while it looks like most people seem to ease their way through life.
I know that not everyone is as happy as they appear. I know that most couples struggle through the same things–otherwise there wouldn’t be sooooooo many websites dedicated to infidelity and serial flirting, etc.
I actually believe that SexyPants WAS the kind of person who’d gladly have his ego stroked and say things that he really did not mean to get validation. I don’t believe he went so far as to sleep with other women. Don’t ask me how or why…it would take a dozen entries…I just feel this way. Believe me, I have gone over scenarios hundreds of times in my head. I also know this kind of man. I’ve experienced this type on so many business trips.
Doesn’t mean he wasn’t selfish and didn’t disrespect OUR relationship. I have not forgiven him. I will also NEVER forget.
More on this to come, I’m sure.
Meanwhile, let’s focus on ME. It’s my diary. OMG, I hope OD stays alive long enough for me to get this stuff out of my system.
More things I love about me:
LOVE yous.
GS

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