I found this on http://www.pud.com and is about Pud’s other website, the excellent http://www.fuckedcompany.com (I really have to learn how to do proper links).
Dear Pud,
I e-mailed you but you still ain’t respondin’
I left my ICQ, my e-mail and my IRC handle at the bottom
I sent two e-mails from AOL, you must not-a got ’em
There probably was a problem with the mail server or somthin’
Sometimes I type address to sloppy when I’m browsing
but anyways; fuck it, what’s been up? Man how’s your web site?
I’ve been working on my web site too, I’m about to launch it
If I do that, guess what I’m gonna call it?
I’ll name it pudcompany.com
I read about idealLab too I’m sorry
I had a friend kill himself when some fucked company didn’t want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I’m your biggest fan
I even get on IRC and chat with the people watchin’ your web cam
I got a disk full of your pictures and your even my wallpaper man
I like the shit you did with pud.com too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan
My coke’s gone flat I’m wondering why I..
bought any stocks at all
A thousand e-mails clog up my inbox
and I can’t read them all
And even if I could it’ll all be black,
but your picture on my screen
It reminds me, that it’s not so bad,
it’s not so bad..
Dear Pud, you still ain’t IM’d or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain’t mad – I just think it’s FUCKED UP you don’t answer fans
If you didn’t wanna talk to me inside your chat room
you didn’t have to, but you coulda replied to Matthew
That’s my little brother man, he’s only six years old
We waited in some lame-ass chat for you,
four hours and you just said, “No.”
That’s pretty shitty man – you’re like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain’t that mad though, I just don’t like bein lied to
Remember when we met in New York – you said if I’d e-mail you
you would write back – see I’m just like you in a way
I never liked ideaLab neither;
they fired my mom cause they said they didn’t need her
I can relate to what you’re saying on your site
so when I have a shitty day, I read away and put it on
cause I don’t got any good stocks left so that shit helps whenI’m depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even post as you to see if anyone reads
It’s like caffeine, the fame is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My boss is jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But he don’t know you like I know you Pud, no one does
He don’t remember what companys were like before this internet rush
You gotta IM me man, I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan — P.S.
We should be together too
Dear Mister-I’m-Too-Good-To-IM-Or-E-mail-My-Fans,
this’ll be the last message I ever send your ass
It’s been six months and still no word – I don’t deserve it?
I know you got my last two e-mails;
I typed the addresses on ’em perfect
So this is my MP3 I’m sending you, I hope you hear it
I’m in the office right now, wiping all the servers
Hey Pud, I drank a liter of jolt, you dare me to fdisk?
You know the song by Limp Bizkit, “Break Stuff”
about that guy who didn’t give a fuck
and had to come home from work and break stuff?
That’s kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from bankruptcy
Now it’s too late – I’ve deleted 1000 files, its crashing
and all I wanted was a lousy e-mail or a IM
I hope you know I deleted +ALL+ of your pictures off my server
I love you Pud, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can’t BREATHE without me
See Pud; {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I’m tryin to talk!
Hey Pud, that’s my boss screamin in the server closest
but I didn’t slit his throat, I just tied him up, see I ain’t like you
cause if he burns he’ll suffer more, and then he’ll die too
Well, gotta go, the fuse is almost burned up now
Oh shit, I forgot, how’m I supposed to e-mail this shit out?
{*loud explosion*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*Fire Burning*}
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