56.Your manager probably didn’t mention this, but all of your friends’ get special discounts! Twelve packs of beer are seventy five cents, fountain drinks and Slurpees are only ten cents, candy bars are five cents, packs of cigarettes are half price, etc.
57.The most common form of employee theft is collecting the money for something, not ringing it up and putting the money in your pocket. Once you’ve worked there for awhile you pretty much know all the prices without ringing any of them up. The trick is to make it look like you’ve rang it up because customers will notice that you don’t and inform the manager. (Believe me, they really will do this.) Let’s say a customer buys a pack of cigarettes. They’re $2.19 ($2.36 with tax). Hit CLEAR 219 CLEAR 236, collect they’re money and hit CLEAR NOSALE. That’s a pretty good simulation of ringing up something for real. The customer will see the price on the register and assume everything’s normal. Instead of pocketing the money all at once, keep a little tally sheet next to your register and write down the amount of each sale that you haven’t rang up. When you’re done doing this, add the numbers all up and collect the full amount. This lessens the chances of someone seeing you pocketing the money.
58.What if you’ve got about fifty dollars in merchandise that you haven’t rang up but there’s three cameras watching you and there’s no way that you could possibly take the cash without the cameras seeing you? Well, call a friend and tell them to come over. The friend will buy something in the store and you ring up the friend for his purchase and then give him his “change” which will include the fifty bucks that you’ve stolen. The only bad part is that now you’re expected to share your cut with the friend.
59.Be careful when selling your underaged friends alcohol. Make sure to card them, look at the I.D. very closely (make it look real) and then ring up their beer. (Which is 75 cents, remember?) And hopefully your friend doesn’t look like he’s ten years old. Put the beer in a (hopefully paper) bag so a cop doesn’t stop him walking out of the store with the alcohol. Make sure you tell your friend that if he’s caught drinking this beer and the police asks where he got it, he doesn’t tell them where he got it. Tell him to name another store nearby so you won’t get into any trouble. (Besides, they’ll have proof on the security tapes.)
60.Most stores have some way of keeping inventory on the cigarettes so the employees aren’t stealing them all. If you have to count each individual pack of cigarettes at the beginning and end of your shift, things are gonna be hard on you. For one, you’ll have to ring up every pack of cigarettes that you sell. If there’s something else in the store that costs the same as a pack of cigs, you can ring this item up under the cigarette key. Lets say that a customer buys a gallon of milk which is $2.36, the same as cigarettes. Instead of ringing up $2.36 on the grocery key, ring it up on the cigarette key. There, now you’ve got one pack of cigarettes!
61.Usually the stores will only keep a tight inventory on the cartons of cigarettes and not the individual packs. In fact, I’ve never seen a store that doesn’t keep tight inventory on the cartons. So don’t steal the cartons but load up on the packs. Remember that when your friends come in they get that special deal, five packs of cigs for the price of one! And since they’re a friend, it only costs about $1.50!
62.Credit Card Machines (masturbating…) There’s a button on the credit card machine called REPRINT. Every time a customer uses a Mastercard or Visa, press this button after they leave. This will give you a reprint of their receipt and their credit card number will be on this. A customer comes in and buys some gas and fifty dollars worth of condoms and a Hustler magazine totaling $65 and pays cash. Ring this up on the register. After they leave, hit the MANUAL ENTRY button on the credit card machine and it’ll ask you for your card number. Whip out your list of card numbers and punch one in. Then the expiration date. Then the amount of the sale which is $65. A receipt will come out and you can scribble a “signature” on it and put it in with your other receipts. Now that the purchase has been paid for with a credit card, you’re free to take the $65 in cash home with you. Just make sure you’re not still working there next month when the owner of the card you used gets his bill.
63.Arrange for some friends to come in and do a “beer run.” Have them steal a good amount of twelve packs and run out the door with them. Make sure that there’s no “good samaritan” customers out in the lot who will catch your friends and drag them back in the store. Pretend to be surprised, maybe run after them for a second. Then go to the phone and call the police’s non- emergency number and explain what happened. Give them incorrect information like they’re on foot (if they’re in a car) or they’re headed down a certain street when they’re really going the other way. The police will show up and you’ll have to fill out a report and that’s the end. After your shift is over, go to your friends’ house and get drunk.
64.A customer comes in and buys $10 worth of merchandise and leaves. Take their receipt and write it down on your paper work as an over-ring. (Like the cusomer didn’t have enough money and you had already rang it up.) Now there’s $10 in the register for you.
Also a couple of other things. I have updated my poll. Go vote. I have also created a quiz about this diary at this place If you take the quiz, leave a note with your score.
Will
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