‘Cos I’ve been meaning to do this for ages. Quotes courtesy of Laugh Lines, Love Lines
Oh, I would *kill* to live in L.A. That close to that many shoes?
Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you’ve seen the softer side of Sears.
God! What is your childhood trauma?!
Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist?
Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I’m through with him.
I, I can’t go out there. All those people staring at me and judging me like I’m some kind of… Buffy!
Because you’re always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you’re very strong, and you’ve got all those weapons… I was kind of hoping you were in a gang.
Cordelia: Look, um, I didn’t get a chance to say anything yesterday with the coronation and everything… but, um, I guess I just wanted to say thank you, all of you.
Xander: That’s funny, ’cause she looks like Cordelia.
Library! Great!
Oh, that was me, saving the day!
Buffy. You’re really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren’t you?
Whatever is causing the Joan Collins ‘tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. ‘Cause pretty soon you’re not even gonna have the loser friends you’ve got now.
It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
Buffy. Love the hair. It just screams street urchin.
Is Mr. I’m-the-lead-singer-I’m-so-great-I-don’t-have-to-show- up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?
And I know the peasants were all depressed…
I’m gonna be in therapy till I’m thirty.
I’ve seen you fight. And don’t think I can’t take you!
Oh, here I am. ‘Personal shopper or motivational speaker.’ Neato!
I can’t even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?
Oh, right, ’cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends.
Like how to build your own serial killer?
Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Or it could be a crock.
I think you splashed on just a little too much ‘Obsession For Dorks’.
What’s he waiting for? What’s his problem? Oh, that’s right, he’s a guy.
Your clothes… You look so good.
Damn it, Xander, what’s going on? Who died and made you Elvis?
You promise?
But I thought he kept his weapons at the library.
We’re all concerned about how gross you look.
Tact is just not saying true stuff. I’ll pass.
Oh, right. Your obsession with protecting Buffy. Have I told you how attractive that’s not?
Yeah, well, I’ve seen you watch her back.
Well, I was using the phrase ‘watch her back’ as a euphemism for ‘looking at her butt.’ You know, sort of a pun.
Let’s go, Tact-Guy.
Okay. Overidentify much?
It’s about time our school excelled at something.
Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving.
Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman.
God, this is so sad. We’re never gonna win the state championship. I think I’ve lost all will to cheerlead.
Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man.
I’m dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale swim team!
You were so courageous. And you looked really hot in those Speedo’s.
And I want you to know that I still care about you, no matter what you look like. And… and we can still date. Or, or not. I mean… I understand if you wanna see other fish.
I think we can safely say we’ve found Sean. He was in the pool skinless-dipping.
I think it’s great to do that before you go out and fail in the real world. That way you’re not falling back on something. You’re falling… well, forward.
How about because you’re a tiny, impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu?
I ran. I think I made it through three counties before I realized nobody was chasing me. Not too brave.
He didn’t meet anybody over the summer, did he? No, who’s he gonna meet in Sunnydale, but monsters and stuff? But then again he’s always been attracted to monsters.
How do we know it’s really you and not zombie Giles?
Oh, you mean ’cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
He didn’t try to slit our throats or anything. That’s progress.
Oz ate someone last night.
You crazy freak!
Well, he kinda grows on you, like… a Chia Pet.
Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend.
Whatever. The point is, I haven’t even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy’s just the runner-up. *I’m* the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I’m gonna do to you?
Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on Lycra pants. Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire.
Excuse me? When your last steady killed half the class, and then your rebound guy sends you a dump-o-gram? It makes a girl shy.
Will
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