In the United States, the standard procedure for a politician accused of being involved in a sex scandal is to vehemently deny it: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” After months of press frenzy, he will allude to some involvement, while taking great care not to contradict his first statement: “I did indeed have a relationship that was not appropriate.” Only after several more months will he come to terms with what (or who) went down and then beg forgiveness from anyone who still gives a shit.
In Australia, however, a politician in the same situation fesses up immediately, describes what happened in some detail and is surprised it’s even an issue. Andrew Kilvert, who finished his stint as a government media adviser on Friday, celebrated by having sex in the speaker’s chair of the parliament building. “We’d been down the boozer [pub] and wandered in and just sort of had sex,” said Mr. Kilvert. “She delivered a beautiful soliloquy as she lay on the speaker’s table, about democracy and freedom of expression. It was really quite a good speech.”
This comes as no surprise to sex-industry spokesman Robbie Swan, who claims parliamentary buildings across the nation are being used for couples to engage in sexual activities. Swan told reporters, “There’s 7,000 people working in the parliament house here when it gets going. Some of them will have sex on the job — it’s just part of what you do.”
Mr. Kilvert would not name his sex partner because he “does not kiss and tell.” Take note, Slick Willie, there’s a real gent. That’s the shrimp-on-the-barbie mentality for you, and frankly, I think it’s the way forward.
Gotta love the Aussies.
Will
Loading comments...