I’ll start off with one of my favourite activities. That’s right. For all of you who have missed this, it time to Take The Piss Out Of An Anonymous Note!(© 2000 Will Forbes, All Rights Reversed)
It all starts with a pitiful excuse for a diary called Ashley Banfield. (I won’t dignify it with a link.) This ‘person’ is blindfolded with the Stars and Stripes. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that their favourite drink is Dubya’s semen.
So I left a note in their Memorial Day entry. Below is a copy of my note and the reply someone left for me:
There’s a difference between the soldiers killed in WW1 and WW2 and the ones sacrificed by Dubya. The soldiers killed in the two World Wars were actually fighting a war. The sacrifices died to help Americe bully a porrer nation into being how America wants them to be. [Bungo Loamsdown]
Dear Bungo, You are an idiot. Couldn’t leave that message on your diary, since you have so cleverly made it unreadable. Suggestion: go back to your homeroom teacher who fed you that garbage, and tell him/her that you’d rather they teach you something you can use,….like SPELLING. Get an education, little boy, before you spout such bullshit. THEN, maybe someone will take you seriously. Pathetic.
Now let’s go through the note. My comments in italics.
Dear Bungo, You are an idiot.
Tell me what you really think, why don’t you?
Couldn’t leave that message on your diary, since you have so cleverly made it unreadable.
Strange. Does anyone else have a problem with reading my diary? Or is it just this person? Actually, email reasons why this person has a problem reading this diary to [email protected] The one I like best will get an entry dedicated to them. Entries to me by next Wednesday.
Suggestion: go back to your homeroom teacher
What is a homeroom teacher? Can anyone tell me exactly what homeroom is (being an ignorant Brit and all)?
who fed you that garbage,
No-one fed me that garbage. But the US (unfortunately with Britains help) are supposed to be capturing Bin Laden. Dubya has actually boasted in the past that he does not know where Bin Laden is. His capture would end this “war”. Oceana is at war with Eurasia. Oceana has always been at war with Eurasia. We love Big Dubya.
and tell him/her that you’d rather they teach you something you can use,….like SPELLING.
I spelt ONE WORD wrong, and yet you see fit to criticise my spelling? But, I forget, you can do this as you are too chicken to let me know who you are.
Get an education, little boy, before you spout such bullshit.
Check the age at the top of the entry. It’s been a long time since I’ve been a little boy. And I am getting an education. One thing I’ve learned? If you slag someone off and not have the guts to do it to their face, then expect for that person to use their right to reply.
THEN, maybe someone will take you seriously. Pathetic.
You mean no-one takes me seriously? But I thought I was the only one who did not take me seriously. Pathetic? Oh, I see now. I’m sorry. Right through this I thought you left an anonymous note. I now realise that you did sign it. Again, I apologise for this massive oversight.
God, I’d forgotten how much fun that could be.
I am now home for the summer. So I’ll be here a bit more. Sorry I have not been around much lately but normal service will now resume. (Well, as normal as it can get for me.)
And BB has started again. Sandy is cool. But he actually looks a bit scary. But I want Lynne to win. 2 reasons:
A) Us Aberdonians need to stick together.
B) She is a student. Out of everyone in the house, she needs the money the most.
And how annoying is Jade? Everyone is comparing her to Helen from last year but there is one major difference. Both are thick (Jade thinks 6*3=9), both have annoying accents. The difference is that Jade just does not know when to shut the fuck up. She goes on and on and on and on ad bloody infinitum (or in my case, ad nausium). If she is up for eviction this week (which, lets face it, she probably will be) she will be leaving on Friday. And I shall celebrate.
Anyhoo. Must go now as I fear I’m approaching the character limit (although I’m probably nowhere near it). But just a reminder. You have one entry after this to ask a question. And I don’t have that many yet. So don’t be afraid to ask summat.
Will
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