So, this is how it is.
Why is it that just when you think you cant get any lower, the world has to go and prove you wrong? I mean, how big a bastard must I have been in a previous life to deserve this shit?
I sit here, slowly draining the bottle of vodka. The only friend I have at the moment. Could this be the reason Im in the state Im in? Cause I slowly drain my friends away?
I should have seen it coming. The split, I mean. Shes been so moody and secretive lately. I should have twigged. I have no idea why I didnt.
Actually, I do. Im too fucking trusting for my own good.
I still remember the withering attack she made on me when we split. God, how could I not? She attacked my abilities as a boyfriend, as a lover, she cast aspersions on my sexuality (which I thought I had proven over the three years).
But did she have to poison everyone against me?
None of my friends will speak to me. My housemates have let me know they want me out of the house yesterday. College has informed me it might be an idea if I stopped attending.
My work has sacked. But Im not surprised. I am, after all, out on bail on suspicion of rape.
Look, I really dont know how she got the black eye. I had had no contact with her during the week the assault is alleged to have taken place. Strangers, I can understand hating me. But I thought my friends knew me better.
Hence the vodka. Still not sure if Ill have the tablets as a chaser.
So, this is how it is.
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