A blue arsed fly had nothing on me… in OD

As you know, I had to pick up my laptop by Friday.

Except, I didn’t have the money.

A friend very kindly agreed to lend it to me. Difficulty: they are in the States. The only way to get the money to me in time was Western Union.

Further difficulty: I need photo ID to collect money from them. Which I don’t have. Checking the website, I figured out that I should be fine using something with my name on it and something with my address.

So, about 9am on friday I set out, thinking I would be back home by about 11.

Oh, how fucking wrong I was…

First place I went to absolutely refused to help me unless I could provide a council tax bill. As I’m on benefits and, therefore, my council tax is zero, I don’t actually get one of these.

The second place would allow me to send money through Western Union but not recieve.

The third place couldn’t help me. The person who deals with that was off and no-one else could access the computer.

The next place, absolutely not without photo id. They did rather helpfully suggest that I go somewhere else. The place they suggested does Moneygram but not Western Union. Which these people know.

Place number five ignored me for about 15 minutes. So I gave up and went a couple of doors down the road. To somewhere else that only did sending money.

The next place? Absolutely not without photo id.

By this time it was about half past eleven and I felt like punching walls. So I went for a quick pint.

Then I decided to try at Ramsdens. The staff there were brilliant. However, they told me I needed a utility bill.

Great. All my billing is done online.

Nipped home, dropped off the letters I had with me to use as ID and headed into town.

Went to the T-Mobile shop. Omnly to discover that they don’;t print out statements in the shop as it has to be requested from the website, for which they charge.

Ahhh, but the website will also allow you to download your bill as a PDF. So, to the library I go! I have interweb access but not printing access. Save the bill to my memory stick, plug that into my printer, Bob’s yer uncle.

Except my printer doesn’t accept memory sticks, just memory card. And, once I’ve doewnloaded it to the memory card on my phone, I find out that my printer, using this method will only let me print out pictures.

Back into town go I and find a place that does printing. Get the bill printed out. Back to Ramsdens, where I discover they need something else on top of the bill.

One of the things they’ll accept is a statement from a financial institution. One of the letters I was using before was about repaying the budgeting loan. That’s financial in nature.

Back home I go, to get the thing I need to, basically, turn the DWP into a bank.

Eventually, it goes through and I get the money. Straight to the shop to get my laptop back. Straight to the pub for a well earned pint.

Will