Hello in OD

I will get round to answering your question. In the meantime, you’re probably wondering how work is going. Well…

The first two weeks were training. We started off by getting to know each other and played two truths, one lie. I was informed that the reason I was so fgood at it was because I was into creative writing and therefore good at description.

People who have read my writing, especially Leslie and Nessa Monster, feel free to copy my creative writing tutor and burst out laughing.

The rest of the time was mostly ‘this is what happens at level 1. You’ll never need to do this, but you still need to know it. This is what happens at level 2. You’ll never have to do this, but you still need to know it.’

Then we had a day on what we were actually going to be doing. Which, to be fair, was pretty straightforward.

Then on the last day we had a buffet (traditional) and stuffed our faces. We also all went to the pub during our lunch break.

Then we actually started. We were supposed to be on a four day week with every weekend and one day during the week off. Which gave us a four day weekend every four weeks.

The first day was fine. Mostly getting stuff finished off from training and system access.

Tuesday lunchtime we were called to the buzz area (yes, it’s actually called that). Where we were told that we wouldn’t be using the system we were taught, we’d be using a different, simpler system. As it was our day off on Wednesday, we would be buddying (watching others in action) the rest of the day and starting our training on the new system on the Thursday.

Except when Thursday came round, we got split into two, with half of us going to payments and the other half going on phones. Guess where I was put? Despite being told in my interview it wouldn’t happen.

So, for the erest of the day, I was buddying. The only good thing about it was that I lucked into getting five breaks. The only good thing about it. And, it turned out, the buddying was going to be my training.

Friday morning I got moved to payments as one of the folk there wanted to move to the phones. Friday lunchtime, I was moved back to phones.

Monday, we were all taken back to the buzz area. Only to be told that those of us on payments who got moved to the phones had been moved because an email was misinterpreted. Did I get moved back? Don’t be silly. That would be the obvious thing to do. Instead, volunteers were looked for and then, because they were still three short and my name came out the hat, I was back on phones.

I took my first call on the Tuesday at 9am. By 9:05, I was already wondering how far the window opened so I can jump out of it. That job is every bit as miserable and soul destroying as I remember from the call centre. By the end of the day, I was seriously coinsidering giving someone money to beat me up, just so I wouldn’t have to work.

On Wednesday, I went to my manager and said that I really, really, really, really, really, REALLY didn’t want to stay on phones. The best she could do was if I made it to the end of the week without killing someone, I would get moved back to payments after my holiday.

And that’s where we are. I’m on holiday, Nessa Monster arrives tomorrow and at least I don’t have to do something I truely detest anymore.

Will