Puzzles and Smiles in The dotted line

I just smiled.

It crept up on me unexpectedly.

One minute I was laying in bed, wide awake, listening to a new song on repeat and playing one of my "calm the f**k down" puzzle games when..

Gently, subtly, I felt the corners of my mouth slightly turn upward and I realised I was smiling.

Wow.

My mind's been a relentless combination of numbness and racing thoughts for over a week. I usually feel like I want to crawl out of my own skin.

I'd smiled in that time, laughed even, but in a more performative "I'm going to make myself enjoy this" way.

Now it's 2.30am and feeling wired and tired, I'd resorted to music and puzzles, when something shifted. I paused the music and paid attention. I feel almost normal. Calm and relaxed.

This is amazing, I hope it stays :)


5.30am... I rested, but didn't sleep at all, so at 5am I was up and dancing around the kitchen instead! Not wanting to waste this (potentially brief) bolt of gleeful energy, I got a cuppa and completed all the admin for this weekend's London gig. I'd been putting it off for weeks and had worried I'd get to Fri and still have done nothing, so this is major. Woohoo!