Not in a wheelchair, though still paralyzed and don't want to move
There's a fork in the road up ahead, one of two paths I'll need to choose
Carefully walking across pins and needles, the next step could make me bleed
Weakened and defeated, failure is the only reward I think I'll receive
Living in darkness, my inner sanctuary remains my haven
I dare not set foot outside, hidden from the world, unkempt and unshaven
The air is heavy here, but to me, it's familiar and its mine
Within the confines of my world, I am me, whether cordial or unkind
Fear and danger are no obstacles, barriers that she somehow no longer sees
Yet she couldn't wait to walk away and avoid me, like I had some kind of disease
She feels a lack of control, and an inexplicable feeling she would hope not to lose
The distance, her absence, nothing that I would ever deliberately choose
No pain or anything broken, but it feels like some kind of contusion
Can't explain how it got there, still overwhelmed by a great deal of confusion
Nothing makes sense now, what is fake and what is real
Once filled to the brim with confidence, now I don't know what to feel
I fell for it once before, the warmth, the smile, and those soft brown eyes
Unwilling to be duped again, deadly afraid to move towards the light
There was a measure of comfort there, which for a moment I had come to rely
It was inviting, fulfilling, and strong, then without warning or notice, it had suddenly died
Her heart skips a beat, while mine is reluctant and weak
Shaken and in the fetal position, struggling to find the confidence to speak
My words and voice no longer have any power, I'm no better than your average mute
Could've serenade her with ease before, but now nothing I say is cute
What used to soothe and even arouse, those words now fall upon ears gone deaf
Never had a chance to make amends, don't think I have any more chances left
She walked away so easily, like there was nothing about me that mattered
Now I lie here defeated, bloodied, bruised, and battered
Being vulnerable failed me miserably and in the end, it left me exposed
Should kept my demons corralled, and fought harder to keep my heart closed
Gave her real and raw emotion at times and maybe opened up a bit
Wondering where it all fell apart, now baffled and alone here I sit
Eyes were open, fantasies exchanged, no doubt we shared a connection
Now those are just memories, hurling me into an unexpected period of reflection
Eyes shut, mouth closed, my spirit dead and lifeless like a cadaver
Breath is gone, words evaporated, not an ounce or hint of laughter
Figured she's not interested in listening, think my options are running dry
Maybe there was a misunderstanding, couldn't resolve it, she never let me try
Missing that closeness, but I'm afraid to go near
Thought I could trust her, now through these veins courses fear
She'll reach out her arms, but is it for a hug or perhaps a slap
Want to flee back to my darkness and avoid the light, don't want this to be a trap
Was once exceedingly confident and in using my words, I thought I was adept
She'll tell me never dare to leave her, but then how come she was the one who left?
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