I keep playing Battlefield 6 for the PS5. I want to say that I've gotten about as good as I'm going to get in the game. I get kills. I die. In fact, I die a lot. My intent when I play this game is to contribute to the team effort and not be the reason why my team loses. I like to be a team player in the game and if anything, I've discovered that I have a penchant for being a team healer, or as the game would identify me, as a combat medic. For the most part, I'm playing the game according to these simple expectations. Don't die so much. Kill more than I die. Revive as many of my fallen teammates as I possibly can. I'll even go so far as to run like a rhino, head down into gun fire, if it means being able to revive a downed teammate before they die. I'm all about the team effort, at least in the game, I am. In the real world, not so much.
I'd like to get to bed in just over an hour and a half, in preparation of the work day tomorrow, but I'm going to be honest. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel like busting my ass to wake up so early just so that I can get to the office at 4:45am. I've maintained that modified work schedule for just over two years. When I first started this schedule, I was motivated. I wanted to come in early and get some work done before anyone else arrives. I obviously liked the bloated paycheck that comes with working as early as I do and working as many hours as I do. Going into the office as early as I did was fun and it felt good being able to improve upon my productivity.
Now, I'm starting to question why I even bother.
I think a lot of this has to do with the reality that management doesn't care how good my work is. They're content with the mediocre and even poor work that my coworkers are doing. It makes me wonder why I continue to put in the considerable effort that I do, when so much less will suffice. Why am I working at a level 10, when working at a level two will work just as well? I'm still going to go to bed early, just as I always do, but when that alarm goes off at 3:40am tomorrow, I can't readily say that I'll spring out of bed and start my day with that morning shower. I might not even give a shit because I'm gradually starting to wonder what the whole point is.
As I wrote in my previous entry, it was nice and cold outside for once. I'm hoping that this starts a trend that will continue for at least the next month, if not longer, because I've about had it with this 80-degree weather. Hell, even 70 degrees is way too damn hot for this time of year. I'm not asking that it snow, but damn, can it at least kind of look like winter, even for Southern California? I don't know if my optimism is going to pay off here.
I don't know what prompted me to write yet another entry, which would be my second entry on the day. I guess I'm still testing out this keyboard. I don't think I had much to say, so I just decided to write whatever the hell came to mind. Battlefield 6. My reluctance to go to work tomorrow. Wishing for continued cold weather. Yeah, there's not really a whole lot going on in my world at the moment.
As for this keyboard, I still don't know.
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