How do you save someone who doesn't want to save themselves? So Mom has been showing signs of schizoaffective disorder since dad died in 2018 and it got worse in 2022. In 2022 mom ended up willingly committing herself into the psych unit after she realized the voices in her head was not giving her the best ideas. She would go on massive shopping sprees and spend herself broke on the regular. She was even seeing my dad who died in 2018. She was so happy for him being there that she called me. I went over to check on her house and I could smell gas leaking I remember telling her that she needed to leave immediately and I ran into the house and grabbed her pets I opened all the windows and let the air circle through the house. I don't know what would have happened if I didn't come over.
My mom willingly put herself in the psych unit in 2022 she decided it was time to get the help that she needed and I'm grateful that she made that choice my mom however says that going to the psych unit ruined her life. They put her on latuda and she slept all the time. With time the voices stop but she still appears to have delusion.
I tried to help her live independently but I noticed things she used to do was getting harder with time. Mom has always been a brilliant psych nurse but now she struggles to cook or even pay bills by herself. Mom was always good with money till schizoeffective started affected everything in her life. She impulsively effected her bank account. I keep telling her pay her bills first before pretties. It's like she doesn't grasp spending all her money prevents her from paying bills or going shopping. She just runs her accounts deeper into the negatives while I feel helpless begging her to stop.
When mom wants something if I tell her we don't have the money to afford it she doesn't see how that applies to her. She rather run her accounts into the negatives instead depriving herself of anything. I can tell her we don't have money for a steak dinner she will doordash it. She doesn't even care.
On Saturday mom was being combative and losing grip on what was real and what was a delusion. She threatened to castrate my husband. She threatened to poison me. While I was cooking us lunch she was getting life insurance on my family pretending she was me. I took the phone from her told the woman mom is pretending to be me and she doesn't have permission to put insurance on me. Mom and her persisted. Mom demanded me to talk to the women. I told mom I am cooking lunch and caring for the baby can I deal with this later?
Moms behaviors kept getting worse. She was talking to AI like it was a best friend to her. Claude was giving her advice and mom decided Claude and her were going in business together.
Mom has a baby doll name Leia she bought on Temu she keeps telling me Leia is the twin to my son Leo. There has been times I woke up in the middle of the night to discover Leia in the basinet. I ran through the house to discover mom caring for my son. I gave Leia back to my mother and I told her mom Leo is my son let me care for him. Mom kept taking him from the crib during the night we had to lock her out of the room to be sure she didn't get the idea of leaving the house with my son. She thought it was funny to trade my son for Leia while I slept. She laughed as I called in distress running through the house begging who has my son.
The last straw was when I was trying to cook dinner but she wanted a steak she called an Uber said she was going to leave. I told her she needs mental help. I told the driver she no longer needs a ride she us going to psych unit. Mom threatened to stab me when I took her phone she punched me. There was a knife sitting on the best. She must have found it when I was paying attention to Leo and not her. Mom has never abused me before I was in shock. Instead hurting my mom I thought about it. I told her pack her bag she is going to psych unit. This was beyond what I could help her with. I told her she had a choice I drive her or an ambulance takes her. She said she wasn't going I told her sorry not going is no longer an option.
I tried to get her to visit psychiatrist for years. She would call and cancel appointments when I wasn't looking. I go in and they told me I cancelled it. I was confused thinking but I never called. I don't understand. Come to find out mom was impersonating me and cancelling the appointments. I begged her to go she refused to see a psychiatrist or a therapist till me and husband went to therapy so to be a good example my husband and I went to see a therapist. I told mom if us healing is what it takes for her to get psychological help than I will happily go. I don't frown down on mental help around here. At first we were ashamed but now embrace it. Let's all get better together.
I didn't know this till just recently mom has been considered psychologically incompetent since 2022. All the times she manipulated me could have stopped if I knew I was appointed medical power of attorney and medical surrogate. When mom tried to sign herself out of the mental health facility they told her the only person who can sign her out is me. I know she wants out but what she needs is psychiatric care.
At first she called me saying to release her because she needs a colonoscopy. I thought for a moment and told her but you had the colonoscopy this summer. They said you are fine. She told me if I didn't release her she was going get me for entrapment. I don't think she quite knows what that means. Mom said she is going make my life hell if I don't let her go. I told her but mom you been making my life hell. How is that any different now?
I got a message that mom argued with a guard twisted his testicles and refused to let go. They had to sedate her and get the guard medical care. That is very much out of her personality and no doubt part of her medical condition. Mom also swore someone was outside the psych unit trying to break in. She saw foot prints panicking not considering the footprints in the snow was from the security guards rounds and there's nothing to be afraid of.
I am in the process trying to get guardianship and conservatorship Leo and I have been filling out papers for the courthouse and the Drs are filling out analysis for moms condition for the courts. I don't know if I will get conservatorship and guardianship but I want to know how mom is safe and well cared for. I am trying not to put her in a nursing home. I worry she would be abused there if I have to put her in a nursing home I will put her in the one nearby. It's less than 2 miles from my house and my husband works there so he could keep up with everything be my eyes from the inside. I main concern is my mom's safety from others and herself. I love her and hope the best for her.
God help me I am so tired. The baby kept me up most of the night. I hope if I lay Leo down in his crib I might get some sleep so I clean before my mother in law visits. I will call the unit and check up on mom later. Lately everything has been so heavy much more than I can carry.
Yesterday was my dad's death anniversary. He died in 2018. I am so sad he will never meet his grandson. My sons first name Leo was my dad's middle name. My dad made my life rather difficult I spent most of my life walking on eggshells. Dad would scream and hit me. Lots of manipulation and he stole every penny I ever earned. Instead drinking poison and expecting the other person to die when we found out he had testicular cancer I forgave him. The last 6 months of his life he treated me really well. When I loved him the most and forgave him dad died from heart problems.
I decided to name Leo my son after my dad's middle name because I want to create good memories with my son. Using my dad's name for my son is like carrying dad on in his memories. Dad will always be in my heart a memories every day. I learned through him how to love the difficult and unlovable. Never forget we are all human. Learn forgiveness and kindness.
Does anyone know the age I can start feeding my son Leo chicken and Turkey? He still drink formula but the Dr suggested us feed him ba mess
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