Have you ever had one of those days where you just sit and think I wonder what life would have been if I had only done this or had made this choice instead of another decision? I've been feeling like this today ever since I saw the guy I had turned down in High School. I didn't go up to him or say anything I just watched him as he walked down the side of the mall.I'm too scared to talk to him.It seems as if he is very happy with his life now has a long time girlfriend one that totally hates my guts and has a good life, I don't want to put these feelings back into his head plus the fact that I have a longtime boyfriend who I love dearly.It's just hard to think about what could have been instead of what can be with my current bf. It started in 9th grade I had a huge crush on this guy and he seemed interested in me and we hung out everyday and talked and wrote cute notes back and forth and flirted too it was great I just kept wishing that he would ask me out months and months went on and nothing I was starting to lose interest,then I found out that he was going to ask me out and then I got worried what everyone would say b/c most people didn't like him and thought he was werid but I liked him.I can see now how dumb I was but I was also only 15 not big enough to see the whole big picture and I wrote him a note telling him that I liked him but only as a friend and I crushed him big time.Well it has been about 4 years now and I haven't really thought about him too much but sometimes I keep seeing that picture of him in my head and I think would I still be with him today??What would have happened?It's hard on myself I know I shouldn't be thinking about these kinds of things it just happens I guess.I want to call him and tell him how I feel and get what seems like this weight off my shoulders but I think it might only ruin everything I have and everything he has so I should try to leave well enuff alone.What does everyone think???Let me know gotta get going ttyl.
K8T**
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