Mutterings in scarlet_dragon

I come here and start typing out an entry and then usually wind up just deleting it or saving it as private.
I don’t know a lot has happened in less then a month and I’m still trying to process it myself. There’s plenty to do to keep myself busy that’s for sure. Life would be easier with a second car that we got in line for in April. I’m not looking forward to those monthly payments for insurance and a new car, but it is what it is.
I just keep hoping America can keep itself together. It’s stressful. To the point where I made it a thing to not look on Facebook this week and start training myself to look at it once a day maybe during the week.
When it turns into an activity that causes more stress then anything it’s time to change the habits. Just because it use to be a nice place to catch up with old and new friends doesn’t mean it is anymore. People just want to shout at each other and then you have posts that cater towards keeping you angry. Enough is enough.
So I guess that just means keeping myself to reading the massive stacks of books I have and that’s fine.
The boys dropped some dry cleaning off yesterday. My son decided to buy himself a homecoming ticket and is apparently going. I’m glad he wants to go he’s not going with anyone just himself. I dunno his romantic life is his own business. I’m not going to force him into a box.
My own romantic life is a big ol mess these days anyways. I’m about 98% sure the husband isn’t attracted to me anymore. That hurts. He loves me sure but that’s different than desiring someone. But also how can I expect someone to desire me when I find my own company less then. Like I said I have a whole lot of shit to workout. I need to contact this therapy place next week and just start going.
When I envisioned retirement life 20 years ago it wasn’t this. It was myself and my husband sitting on a porch enjoying each other company. Now it’s having to worry if the US wants a civil war, the kind of society left to my child and everything else. These are those thoughts I keep trying to run from. I can’t sit here wasting time “what ifing” it all.
Anywho. I’m almost finished with Stephen King’s The Long Walk. I started it because I want to watch the movie that just came out like 2 days ago. The book has been interesting. It’s one of his older ones. So it’s kind of weird going back to like 1977. I do want to read 11/22/63 but I’m waiting on the audio book and I’m like 9th in line.
My mother is still in Ireland on vacation with her friend for another couple of days. After she gets back she has some surgery planned for the end of October that I might have to be there for to help out with driving or whatever. Not sure how long the recovery time is.
Anywho I’m off to go try and finish this book and I’m waiting to see if a person off Facebook marketplace is going to show up or not to buy a Halloween pillow. I’ll ttyl!