I’m not known for not saying what’s on my mind… so this is a pretty tough prompt to write…
Dear Bridget,
It weighs on me that I never told you the one thing that you needed to hear… whatever it might have been… that would have changed the outcome of the day you died.
It’s been over five years since that day… but you’re never far from my thoughts. Perhaps I dwell on this more than I should at this point past then… but I guess we all grieve differently in our own time.
I still look for you whenever I see a big white truck coming down the road.
I still think about what I would or could have said if I’d gotten to you beforehand… if it would have made any difference.
I still think about calling you to bitch about something that pissed me off.
I still think about you when I pass Ruby Tuesday, and remember how we went there to eat just a few days before my Gramma passed away.
I still think about the last night we went out… we went to The Brick, and how we got pulled over.
I still think about all the conversations we had in my kitchen, and yours over what turds our guys were.
I still think about how beautiful you looked on my wedding day, so vibrant and full of life.
I still think about how horribly you were treated where you were and how much it hurt you.
I still listen to that last voicemail you left me… just to hear your voice one more time… and cry to hear how broken you sounded.
I remember the night of the day of your death, how I wrote to you in my diary, and through my tears I kept thinking I was seeing you going out my front door, waving at me… if I’d only known that was going to be the last time I saw you alive.
I still love you. I still miss you. I’m sure I always will.
I hope someday I see you again… because I sure have a lot to tell you.
Even as short of a time as you were in my life, comparatively speaking, I’m grateful for it. You were the little sister I never had.
You will always be young, you will always be beautiful. But… you live in my heart. And I know you’re here beside me, just on the other side… but it’s still so far away…
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