….an involuntary mental state of obsessive infatuation characterized by intrusive thoughts, intense longing, and a strong desire for romantic reciprocation from a specific person… creating emotional highs and lows
welp, that’s me folks. When I start dating someone I am crazy over them. I over look things like lies and grandiose ideas. Super red flags because I think they wont be that way with me. I always have the “you got the boy and I got the man” idea…… and it’s always fucking false! I gotta stop this. I have spent the last 24 hours reading about me!
I can’t do this. I try and “sell” myself to be everything they want. Here is an example:
Guy: known him all my life. we dated [slept together] a few times. Very casual but I remember even 30 yrs ago I just wanted to settle down. Be a wife…make supper..I knew I couldn’t have children. He was a player then. He gets married to a much older lady-leaves the county quickly for work. [mafia type shit he explained] THEN-earlier this year- the wife posts mugshots of this guy and pictures of black eyes and bruises. No one has heard from this guy in 25 yrs-except his family. So this guy finds me on fb- calls me- I ask him about the posts and pictures….he said yes I fucked her up and her family. No remorse. He said its because she was spending his money and lied to him. These pics were bad. He laughed about it. Still in my head, I’m thinking but I’m not her….I could make him happy. WTF is wrong with me!!
Guy: Kevn- I knew he wanted help with rent and that’s why I moved in. We had sex 1️⃣ time in a yr and a half. He smoked weed 24/7. He did work. We existed together…it was not good. He was unkept. He showered but looked like Joe Dirt.
WTF have I been doing with my life! hahahahaha.
Happy birthday to me!
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