I went out on Saturday by myself. It wasn’t the first Saturday I’ve gone out alone, but it was the first time I actually drove around town without much purpose. I told my family I was heading to the library and then to the grocery store for some milk, but really, I just wanted to explore and practice. Alone. With no pressure from family or anyone else.
Just by myself.
The day before, I drove my mom around and faced something new: my first left-turn yield on green at a huge, busy intersection. I’ve done plenty of left-turn yields at smaller intersections—probably thirty times in total since getting my license—but never at the big one in the middle of town. It felt like a milestone. And while I knew what I was doing, I needed to prove to myself that I knew what I was doing. And that I didn’t need someone to hold my hand.
I also learned something new about the car. It turns out it has two different turn-signal modes: one that blinks just a few times for when you’re making quick lane changes like on a freeway, and another that stays on until you either finish the turn by turning the wheel all the way or switching it off yourself(unless it’s automatic, in which case it automatically turns off by itself after completing a full turn). None of the other cars I’ve driven had this feature, so it threw me off. All this time I was driving and wondering why it sometimes went off a lot earlier than I wanted. My dad made me feel better when he said it took him six months of driving the same car before he noticed.
That explains why, during my left-turn yield on green, the signal turned off too soon. A car across from me was also yielding left, and because my signal wasn’t showing, he thought I was going straight. He kept motioning for me to go, and I was just sitting there confused for a moment.
I made a few other mistakes, too.
Once, when turning onto a side road, I didn’t slow down enough and ended up stopping awkwardly in the left-turn lane, the nose of the car sticking out just a bit. Later, I parked sloppily—not a big deal—but when I exited the lot, I cut too far onto the left side and was sitting behind the stop sign waiting to get on the road, blocking cars that were trying to enter the parking lot.
That one made me feel pretty bad.
There were some close calls too. When entering the parking lot, I spotted a woman and her child at the entrance. Cars blocked my view of most pedestrians, but luckily I had slowed way down, just in case. I saw them from a distance and nearly came to a full stop before entering the parking lot, but the woman hadn’t noticed me at all. I startled her at the last second, I don’t know if she just wasn’t paying attention, or maybe she thought I would run her over? Either way, I was glad I had been cautious.
And just before that, while turning left onto the road by the parking lot, a parked driver suddenly flung her door open right as I was completing my turn. I had to swerve slightly to avoid hitting her. She didn’t even notice—she just walked away like nothing happened.
It was a lot to take in, but I actually feel good about it. I made mistakes, sure, but I’m learning. And each time, I caught myself, adapted, and kept going. And even when I felt scared about attempting a left-turn yield on green, I did so anyway.
Part of going back out to try another left-turn yield was to prove to myself that I can do it—even after messing up with my turn signal the other day. I needed to show myself that I’m capable, and that I can handle it on my own.
I have anxiety, of course—but I remind myself that it won’t kill me. Growth usually means sitting with discomfort for a little while, and that’s okay. The nerves you feel before trying something new aren’t dangerous; they’re just part of the process. If you can move through that anxiety instead of backing away from it, that’s how you grow, expand your horizons, and truly learn.
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