Lost in the Noise in scarlet_dragon

I’ve been struggling lately with social networking. I don’t have Tik Tok but I use Instagram a ton. To the point where I know I need to just put it down and walk away. My struggles are now with seeing everyone and their brother use a GLP-1. Like the ones who I’d kill to even just be their starting weight using it to lose 10 pounds. I don’t know. I’m trying to not judge everyone who is on it but lately it seems to feel like almost everyone is on it. If I could afford it I’d probably try it too. Pretty sure my insurance won’t cover it anyway even if I do need to lose about 90 pounds. Just difficult like I said. I know you can’t just take it and do nothing else on it but sometimes seeing some of these people who are using it, it seems like just encouraging an ED.
Anywho been struggling with that lately, maybe because losing weight has been my struggle for at least 13 years now. I also then get bombarded with weight loss stuff and health information from clicking on one thing and then it never ends. Somedays social networking is more pain than it’s worth. Trying to cut it out is like trying to remove my sweet tooth too. Feels near impossible.
Whenever I get into this funk I just feel like throwing out every single thing I own in my life. Like it’s the one thing I can control. I know I didn’t get this way magically. I did it to myself over 13 years. So it won’t magically change over night either. But I will saw I struggled back about 10 years ago I was about 30 pounds lighter but still overweight and I was walking well over 12K steps a day and having like a juice for lunch in place of a meal and then just having dinner and my weight just sat there. I wasn’t consuming tons of sugar and chocolate like I do now and I wasn’t having near as much processed foods and I still couldn’t lose it. So now tack on 10 more years and hitting near menopause and I feel like I’m screwed.
I just know I’m tired of this treadmill that I can never seem to get off of.