Nojomo 19 in Nojomo 2014

My overriding emotion… I feel that the world would be a constant, overriding colour if I were to have a constant overriding emotion.

Ya know?

We used to have lots of lovely books with colours in, so that the girls could learn them, I loved them all. But we had two that linked emotion with colour. One was a Dr Seuss book, but it was different from his others as he didn’t feel it would be suitable with his style of illustration so his wife had it published with a different illustrator after he died. The other is called Colour me Happy. And is also nice.

And we really do link colours and emotions don’t we? I’m feeling blue, or I was so angry I saw red!! 

So what are my colours?

Yellow. Yellow is my happy colour, I am often seen with a smile and always offer up a bright ‘good morning’ to everyone I see when I arrive at work and a ‘have a good evening’ when I go home. I love it when I pick up the girls and get hugs.

Army green. That is my unsure colour. I feel a lot better since I was told that, as long as I’m not doing anything wrong, I won’t get any feedback on what I’m doing. However, my teacher has snapped at me a few times recently so I became unsure again. But then I’m comforted by people who say that she snaps at everyone and I realise that I’ve had less snaps than others. I really like her but my life would be more relaxed if her’s was too!

Deep maroon. That’s my safe colour, that’s the colour that I feel when I’m under my duvet and my head sinks into my gorgeously, insanely comfortable pillow. It’s how I feel when Rich and I snuggle up in bed, when there isn’t a molecule of space between us. The room a deep grey gloom and the low chatter of night time radio trickles over us.

Bright blue. That’s my cycling colour (interestingly, running is a different colour, more of a pastel colour). It’s the exhilaration of pedalling as hard as I can downhill, it’s the dare of not slowing before I take a corner, seeing how far I can lean into it. It’s the effort I can feel in my muscles as I power up the hill again, on my way home.

Skin colours. Skin colours and shadows mingling, glistening. Those are my sex colours.

Grey. This is my pain colour. This is the constant tenderness and tightness in my collar bone, draining me of the energy I usually bring to the job, causing me to need ibuprofen to get through my days.

Red. Red with sharp edges and thick black outlines. That’s angry. That’s angry and snapped. It takes a lot for me to snap but when I do it’s a very brittle thing.

Mauve. This is a colour that my mother in law talks about, it’s one those words that makes cringe like ‘weep’. However, it describes perfectly the purple which envelopes me as I relax, eyes closed but utterly, sensuously awake.

Interestingly, I’m currently wearing grey pyjama bottoms, grey polo neck top and grey hoodie! I think that’s coincidental to my pain though!